Logging Off

But, Still...

"Mom?"

"What Flo?" She asked, not bothering to pull her face out of her garden.

She looked adorable with her floral gloves and shoes. Her hair was brown like mine but a lot shorter. She was smaller than I was and more proportioned. I hated that people thought we were sisters, most of the time. She looked a lot younger than she was. A lot of people thought she was beautiful, at least on the outside. Sometimes, it was hard to think her insides were beautiful. Everyone knew that was no fault of her own. She was just hard to be around for too long.

"They're playing that new movie we talked about wanting to see this weekend at our theater. Do you want to go?"

I was bored out of my mind and the idea of a movie with my mom seemed nice. Sometimes, I just liked being near her. She ignored me and she kept gardening.

"Mom?" I asked again, unsure if she had heard what I said.

"It's not a good weekend for a movie, Flo. Maybe another time, okay?"

I wasn't surprised she had rejected my proposal because I was use to her always saying the same things. She would fill my head with we should  but when it came down to it, it was always maybe later.

"Do you need help?" I asked her, knowing that later would never come. My mom never wanted to leave the house for casual outings. She liked to spend time outdoors, at the beach or the lake with my father. But, that was usually it. As time went on, her attitude towards everything seemed to be getting worse.

"No, I have a certain way I want this done and I don't mean any offense honey, but you'll just mess it up. Why don't you go see what your dad is up to?"

Of course, I thought and stood, brushing the excess dirt off my pants. I didn't say anything else as I made my way to our garage. I stepped over some old tools and what looked like trash. He was laying down on his side, fiddling with something under the lawn mower.

"Hey dad," I sighed. "What are you doing?"

"What's it look like? I'm trying to fix this damn thing. What are you doing? Where's your mom?" He always sounded so annoyed with everything. I often wondered if he was happy with where he was at. Was my family what he envisioned for his life when he was younger? Or were we just what happened to him?

"She's in the garden. I just came to see if you needed any help?"

"Uh, no. Go find your sister and y'all go and help your mom plant her garden."

He didn't look up at me. Not once. I shook my head and made my way back inside. I knew later that he would yell at me for wasting my Saturday indoors and for not helping them. It wouldn't matter that I had asked them both if they needed help. I knew the script by now, but still, I played my part.

When I walked inside, my sister was making her way towards the door. She grabbed the keys and looked at me expectantly.