Path Of The Wind

Part 1:《My Usual Goodbyes 》

Eunseo

Seoul   서울  Hospital, 11: 00 P.M

A white smoke as thick as a cloud was thinning to nothing at all,  it became unseen just to coexist with the air around me, continuously rushing out of the purifier like magic, it made the stagnant air of the room no more shallow and tasteless, it blew life onto my withering lungs as I inhaled it hungrily like a newborn baby.

The Four white walls that surrounded the beds had nothing cheerful to load the spirit with, just more of those unfamiliar Metalic engines as a lame decoration that only made me miss colors.

Shorter periods I had to stay compared to some and I could still feel anxiety escalating faster than I would've imagined, so I was thankful for what could've been worst.

The only flowers I could see around were the ones I had on the fabric of the hospital clothes I was wearing, they were tiny but many over a white thin top and bottom that barely warmed my whole body.

Sliding my feet into the slipper, I stood up and trace my way to the place where I usually feel the most alive.

At this time I felt like the flore of nature, alive but undercover, silent but amusant, I was excited to see anything green before anything else.

It wasn't easy to sneak out of the room when the hospital was still full of energy, doctors, and nurses, they all were busy doing their jobs at this late time but I still managed to get out.

Because the sun hid hours ago, every bright color the garden usually wears in the morning was all drained to some darker shades and some part of it just blended with the darkness.

It was still very much enjoyable where I stood, I wasn't laying down anymore and my feet were stomping on the flat ground, the breeze was fresh and the air ran through my weary joints like I've been released from some sort of chains.

: "Eunseo ! " indistinguishable voice low and composed made me a little anxious to hear.

Someone from behind was calling my name.

Hastily looking around to see Minho in his usual white coat with the stethoscope hugging his wide shoulder, his tired face reflected shadows under his eyes and the steps he made were all heavy and slow.

:" isn't it so cold ? " he asked but a long heavy sigh escaped my mouth, it was a sigh of a dying heart as I looked at his hopeful face.

:" Eunseo ? Can you please stop ignoring me at least " his eyes were colder than usual, the kind ones shooting me so much blame.

:" I can't be doing that when I am leaving Seoul tomorrow ! " ...."I have to say goodbye to you " I gave a  smile, but looking at his straight face made my smile disappear as soon as it appeared.

We met as two curious souls craving to feel some sort of emotions, the madness as we walked into unfrequented ways, and the thrill of first experiences, playing games that gave so much more excitement, we both had the same shot but unlike me, he wasn't satisfied.

" did you even like me? "

:" yes " I calmly said

:" Huh! Clearly, You didn't, don't even try and say it like that, all this time I've been patient with you   because I believed you could change because you were important to me thinking you could open up to me, but all you did was feed on emotions, did you even try to commit to anything, at least once in your life, JUST TELL ME.....  "

he breathed in anger and brushed his hair roughly out of frustration, it was all fine until his words triggered the dead part of me that I didn't want to wake up.

He was talking about heartbreaks and little sacrifices, some things would never be equivalent to some others, the blessing I've lost, running away like I've never belonged somewhere, feeling unsafe, those were all bigger deals to me.

:" you are so pathetic " every single word that came out of my mouth relieved me from so much pain, maybe because it was the most sincere thing I ever had to say to him.

The stares I gave him with my eyes were much more intense than the ones burning with desires, and the smirk I wore was more enjoyable than all the fun in the world.

I didn't realize how daring I was until he grabbed my arm and kept me from leaving him in humiliation. He squeezed the flesh of my arm and he seemed capable of doing some more to make me apologize for every word I meant with my heart.

Peaking through bushes that covers us from so many curious eyes, I was looking at the nurse who was in charge of me.

Following my gaze, he slowly released my arm, the shaky breath he let out right after was the amount of self-control he had to ensure before safely leaving me saying goodbye again.

: "Goodbye "

Seoul city polluted not only my health but also my mind and soul. I only grasped the impact when I became immersed in it myself.

I was dying in a city full of life.

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Hey guys !! Finally updating the first chapter !!

I wonder what thoughts you guys have ? Hopefully, it was interesting.

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