Strings | colby brock

6

Not edited bc I'm a piece of shit

|October 31, 2017|
Feelings

— C A M I

         My eyes wander over the crowd of people in search of a familiar face. Adrianna and Cooper disappeared almost as soon as we entered the party, and I haven't caught even the slightest glimpse of Colby in the past hour that I've been here. A slight buzz fills my veins from the alcohol currently swirling around my cup. It wasn't like me to mind being alone at a party, but for some reason I felt lonely— like I was missing something.

         The backyard was rather empty compared to the rest of the house. A few people were gathered here and there but nowhere near as packed as the inside of the house. I found a seat next to the pool away from the commotion. My eyes scan over the many people flowing in and out of the house, my back leaning against the concrete wall as I pull my knees to my chest and sip at my drink. I see Adrianna go from one part of the yard into the house, but I don't bother trying to go after her.

"Um, could you move?" A voice speaks from above me. I glance up to see a skinny, dark haired girl staring down at me with a look of distaste on her features. My eyes narrow as my legs move to the side. There was plenty of room for her to walk by, but at this point if she had I probably would have kicked her in.

Eventually after sitting alone for awhile I decide to make my way back into the party. I couldn't quite understand what I felt like I was missing. Usually I was fine to be alone, but not tonight. Something felt different. Though, I couldn't put my finger on it. I sighed and hoped of forgetting my unknown stressor by pouring myself a rather large amount of jack straight from the bottle, nothing else. As I turn away from the kitchen island I spot a familiar dark haired, blue eyed boy clad in a hot pink shirt. I can't help but let a smile come to my face.

Though the music is booming loudly throughout the house, I can still hear the clicking of heals underneath me. His back is to me as he speaks to a few people that I have never met. It feels as though time slows as I watch the rude girl from earlier stride her way over and wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him down to meet her bright red lips. All of my movements stop. My eyes feel hot as I watch him lean into the kiss. Am I jealous? I can't be. Camila Parks absolutely, positively does not get jealous. However, the pit in my stomach spoke otherwise.

I turn on my heels and push my way through the crowd of dancing bodies. Adrianna and Cooper's smiling faces are only a blur as I pass toward the door. I know they aren't far behind me but I don't care enough to turn around and see. Right now I just want to be home with Maddox, curled up in bed with sad music blasting through my speakers. What is wrong with me? I don't get jealous or sad. I don't get attached enough to people to have a reason to feel this way. It made me angry to think that I had allowed myself to get too close to someone once again. You would think I had learned my lesson by now.

         "I swear to god if you don't slow the fuck down I'm going to tackle your ass!" Adrianna yells from behind me. I can hear her heals clicking wildly against the concrete from behind me as I near the car.

         "Take me home." I say to Cooper who is trying desperately to catch up to the two of us.

         "Excuse me, no one is going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck is going on." She places her hands on her hips as she speaks, narrowing her eyes at me. I huff in annoyance and scuff my boot against the ground.

         "I don't want to talk about it right now. Just take me home, please."

         Adrianna hesitates but agrees and tosses the keys to a sober Cooper. He hops into the drivers seat and Adrianna climbs in the backseat next to me. The ride is silent. You could cut the tension with a knife. I could feel them glancing at me every now and then but my eyes never strayed from the window. I focused my attention on the passing LA city lights, trying anything and everything to keep my emotions at bay. It wasn't like me to be overwhelmed with any type of feeling. I hated it. I wanted the pit in my stomach to go away.

         As always, Maddox was waiting patiently by the door when I arrived. I kicked my shoes off, not caring where they ended up. Adrianna was following closely behind me. I ran my hands through my hair and sighed as I made my way through my room. She tried following me in but I shut the door behind me. I could hear her sigh through the door. I changed out of the stiff clothing and into a pair of sweats. My hands reached out for one of Colby's hoodies he always managed to leave but I stopped myself and slipped into a long sleeve tee shirt with my high schools logo across the front.

         "Are you going to talk to me?" Adrianna asked once I had finally entered the living room. My face was clean and my hair in a high bun on the top of my head. I sat next to her on the couch in silence for a moment. A part of me just didn't want to admit what I was feeling but I obviously wasn't hiding the emotion well.

"I just— it sounds so stupid." I mutter, shaking my head. My eyes stay trained on the empty wall ahead of me but I can feel her looking at me.

         "Is it that girl Colby was with?" She asked softly. I turned to look at her with a frown. Patiently I waited for an 'I told you so' or for her to laugh, but she didn't say anything.

         "Adri, I don't get jealous. You know me. You know why." I state. She nods and places her hand on me knee in comfort.

         "Camila," She sighs. "Colby isn't Landon or Blake. He's a good guy, he—"

         "Don't." I cut her off rather harshly. "Don't talk about them. Please." My voice quiets slightly. I look down to my hands in my lap and fiddle with my thumbs.

         "How about we just watch a movie and order a whole lot of junk food." Adrianna suggests with a smile. Thankful for her efforts of trying to cheer me up, I force a smile onto my face and agree.

         For the rest of the night I couldn't focus on hardly anything. All I could see was Colby and that girl. I just couldn't understand why it had such an affect on me. Colby and I are just friends, and occasional stress relievers. Nothing more nothing less. I promised myself that after they broke me that I wouldn't allow myself to feel that type of pain again. Camila Parks was to never let herself get close enough to anyone that could potentially hurt her. Even Adrianna knew only what I wanted her to know. Yes, I know it's sad that I won't even allow myself to have a good and trusting relationship with someone I consider to be my best friend, but I've felt too much pain in my life from people I was supposed to trust to let myself have that. So, from now on, Colby Brock is to be avoided and forgotten at all possible costs.

Happy Easter to those of you who believe and happy Sunday to those who don't!
This chap is a little shorter than most chapters mainly because I suck at writing about jealousy and all of that because I'm not a very jealous person about anything so there's that. I had a really hard time writing this chapter so I hope you guys enjoy it anyway. Also I felt like I just needed to update. It's been a very long and stressful weekend.
Thank you guys so much for almost 100 reads! It means so much that people actually enjoy this story. Votes & comments really motivate me to keep writing so pls do that :)))
xoxo JEN