the a team

nadia v.1

'Even after all this time, the sun never says "you owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.'

'your eyes are like oceans and i'm slowly drowning in them."

'the day i look at you and say 'damn, your eyes' is the day i confess my love.'

signed off,
miss broken

Last post for the day. Post. I tossed myself back into my chair as the wheels slowly departed away from the desk. You know what they say. Those who can't, blog. Can't love someone in real life, I might as well show my love online.

Of course, nobody knows that. There could be a million people with the tag 'miss broken,' because everyone is just a little bit broken. The way I see it: we're all just broken kids pretending to not be broken.

I can't just come off and confess my love for this person. It may not even be love; it may be lust. But I wouldn't know until I got the opportunity to see them in their boxers.

I seemed to feel lust a lot. I don't have the best rep at school, but does anyone? I've slept around. Always used protection. Never with someone who's taken. Not because I had feelings for these men- it's more of to lose feelings for someone else. If I'm always distracted, I'm never thinking of them. If I'm never thinking of them, the feelings will go away.

Or at least I hoped so. It's been two years, yet the feelings are still here.

I watched as notifications flooded my laptop from afar. Reposts, loves, comments, cries, heartbreaks- all of it. I had quiet a following on my blog. I posted what I felt, and I guess this is how others felt too. Nobody could put it into words, and that's okay. That's what Im here to do. I wanted to spread my message, that it's okay to be heart broken and sad and to feel alone, because the sun comes up always.

Eventually I bought a lock for my door to keep people out. My mom, my little sisters, my little brother, and my friends. I love all of them, but none of them need to know what's going on inside. I keep my identity hidden for a reason- nobody needs to know who's mind is behind the post, and none of my friends know that Miss Broken even exists. I'd prefer to keep it that way. Avianna's too focused on cheer, Keaton's took focused on his next drink, Jax is too focused on his music, and Luci is just... too focused on what girl she's taking to bed next.

Before I even know it, the weekend ends and everyone's back in school. I wake up early enough to make myself look appealing, change, and head out to pick up Keaton. I find myself pulling up outside the complex and sending a message saying I was outside. A few minutes pass, and I see Keaton head out the glass door and fumble down the walkway. He looks like a disaster as he finds his way into my passenger seat, and throwing his bag into the back of my car.

"How much did you sleep last night?" I asked as I pulled out and headed off.
"Maybe... Three hours? I don't know..." He muttered.
I sighed. "What bar?"
"No bar, the baby..." He whispered, but he stopped himself. "Neighbors had a baby, I think... She wouldn't shut up all night."
"Babies are cute." I started. "I want, like, eight."
He laughed. "No, you don't."

We continued our car ride until we got to school and I took my parking spot. We sat for a few minutes before deciding to head in a little before 7:25, giving us about ten minutes before the first bell rings. We went inside and headed into the cafe where Luci and Avi were sitting, waiting for the rest of us. Keaton and I took our seats with them and joined the conversation.

"-Mama... Guebo," Luci sounded out slowly.
"Muma... G-Way-Boo," Avi repeated slower.

Luci slammed her head into her arms resting on the table and I burst out laughing, Keaton just held his head in his face and sighed.
"Who knew Spanish was so hard?" Avi giggled.
"She's trying to say 'love my mother' in Spanish but she can't get the pronouncement right," Luci explained.
I gave her a stupid look, and she kept a straight smile. Avi had no idea what was going on.

"Luci-"
"No, no, no- if she wants to learn Spanish I'd happily teach her." Luci gave an evil smile.
I groaned. "Dick sucker."
"Mother fucker," Keaton added.
"Excuse me!" Avi exclaimed.
"Hey, guys..." A feminine voice chimed in.

We all looked and saw a skinny, taller figure, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes, with perfect eyeliner and false lashes. Ripped black jeans, a 'Love PINK' hoodie, and pink Nikes. She offered a smile, which I returned.

"Hi, Asia," I responded.
"Has anyone seen Jax? He hasn't picked up the phone this morning," Asia asked.
"Haven't seen him sense the weekend," Luci replied.
"You guys hung out this weekend?" Asia asked slowly.
"Yeah. Slept over," Luci replied with a fake smile.
"Oh... Cool..." Asia whispered. "Just, like, shoot me a text if he comes by, okay?" We nodded, and with that she walked off.
"I'd like to just shoot her period," Luci snapped.

I rolled my eyes and smiled while Avi laughed.
"What's so bad about Asia?" Avi asked. "We should support Jaxson's relationship."
"Fuck that hoe. Period." Luci replied.
"Elaborate," Keaton said.
"Oooh, big word Keaton!" Luci teased. "She's just sketchy. Like there's something wrong with her. Like she's hiding something. I bet she's like a murder or something."
"Luc, shes 5'6 and weighs like 130 pounds," Keaton said.
"More like 115," Avi replied, we raised an eyebrow at her. "She's a flyer when I base. I would know."
"Listen, I know when something's off. Asia is off. Ill prove it someday," Luci continued.
"How?" I asked.
"Don't know. But I will," she answered.
"Don't do anything illegal," Keaton muttered.
Luci snickered. "No promises."