Saving Lilian

Chapter Two

     I knew I wouldn't be able to stay hidden in my room alone forever, but I was hoping that the time would have been longer. A lot longer. I know for a fact that I will cry if Lilian's matter is brought up, which it will. I wish i could just fix everything and go back to my normal life, where I was worried if I chose the right outfit for the day or what I wanted to eat for lunch. 

    Only one aspect of my life has changed, yet the difference of my self exuberance has changed more than I myself can only imagine. I know that it wasn't Lilian's diagnosis that has made such a big difference on my life, but the thought that I can't bear to think about, but always finds itself slipping back into my mind. The thought of losing her. 

     I know my parents are going to find the best treatments for her, then make sure that she has the countries most preeminent doctor, or something big like that, but that means it may be an inconvenience to Lilian. She is a six year old cancer patient; I don't think that she wants to be shipped to another state frequently just to be stuck in a hospital. I understand going to a different state for a vacation, but Lilian still has a life. Just by thinking this I feel like a hypocrite, but no words can describe how much I want, no need Lilian to live, but at the same time I want her to be happy. And just to be a normal six year old who rides there bike, jumps in mud puddles when it rains, and make mud pies. Not carrying the burden of wondering if they are going to survive or not.

 I am no longer able to ponder over my thoughts when my mother speaks up. "You need to go to school, get out and not just live your life again. Me and your father both know how hard it is, but we till move on with our life's. You need to do the same. Lilian will be alright, I know she will." her voice is dull, not bright and cheery like it used to be and her face expressionless. She tries to reassure me but it doesn't help."I'm not ready" I manage to mutter in a voice that I myself can barely hear.

     "You can't put this off any longer. We have already left you alone about this for this long. Just go to school tomorrow and you will have both Saturday and Sunday to recover from it. Please do this for us." my mother replies. She makes a good point about me having all weekend to recover from it, but I'm just not ready.

    I have skipped school for a little over a week and probably have a huge pile of homework and schoolwork to make up for. I was once a student who had never missed a day of school in my entire life, always had straight A's, and a so called "goody-goody". I don't blame people for calling me that but it was always in a joking manner anyways. 

     My soccer coach would probably drill me for missing so much practice if I was in a different situation, but I'm not. Remembering about my love for soccer, I'm not sure if I would want to trade places with Lilian if I was able to. Playing soccer is my coping method, one that I haven't used under my current circumstances. Soccer is practically my life.

     I focus my gaze off somewhere to the side, not wanting to look at my sullen faced parents. I don't know how long I let my gaze drift to different places around the room but during the time my parents leave silently.

     I take deep breaths, desperately trying to prepare myself for what I will see when I turn my phone on. The apple sign pops up and the screen comes to life. What I see surprises me. I have fifty-seven new messages, nine emails, forty-seven missed calls, twenty-nine Facebook messages, thirteen snapchats and thirty-three kiks.

       Looking at my phone, I realize a good few of my numerous messages are from people I don't even talk to. As I read, I get overwhelmed. The messages say things like " I'm so sorry about your sister" and " Lilian will be alright". I stop reading after about thirty messages. All of them pity me and Lilian. We don't need nor want any bodies pity.

    
Author's notes- Heyyy sorry I haven't updated in a while, I have had so much geometry homework and other stuff going on right now  so I can ony update so often for the time being. Please vote comment and share if you like my book. If anybody wants me to read one of their books I would love to, as I currently have nothing to read. Just comment the name of your book in comments! By the way  I know somebody who is writing a book and would love too have more reades so if your able t please g read  her book; its called saving riley. Thanks and bye!!!