Eyes Up, Guardian

Chapter 30

Tessa went to the only safe place she could go to think. It was too soon for her to go back into combat. After what had happened with Nokris, her wounds still weren't entirely healed. They were getting there, but she still needed time to heal, and she was happy to take a few days to herself. So she went to the forge, where she felt free to think.

She'd called Shaxx the other day, when they'd returned from the dreadnought. She'd asked for someone to talk to, it was nothing against Damian, but Shaxx guidance had always been reassuring. He'd met her in the forge after she'd called, and once she'd explained what had happened, he'd invited her back in the next day, while Damian had searched the libraries. While they'd talked, she'd worked on various little projects, learning hammer control and the basics before she'd begun her own project.

Busying her hands had freed her mind to think, to process, and talking through her memories instead of sharing them had forced her to think back through everything. She hoped that maybe Shaxx could help her understand everything that she had just learned. The mating bond, she almost wished it wasn't real, just so she wouldn't have to deal with another load for a few moments.

She was thankful for the cold biting at her skin as she hurried to Shaxx's forge. Echo hadn't scolded her for forgetting a coat. Perhaps he was just as stunned as she was, or he was giving her a break, because the cold was focusing her mind, keeping her in the here and now, rather than the what-ifs.

She spotted the familiar door ahead of her. The entrance into the old warehouse where Shaxx had built his forge. The front was an armory, racks and racks of weapons to be brought to the crucible, many of them designed and built by the titan himself. She wound through the rows and rows, heading towards the back room, where the familiar sound of hammering echoed off the concrete floors and metal walls. She didn't knock as she pushed through the door, and she had no doubt that her windblown hair and face only added to the somewhat frantic, desperate look to her face. She read the thoughts in his eyes as he paused to glance to her.

"Have you ever heard of a light bond?" It was the only thing she could think of saying.

As it turned out, Shaxx too had known the mated pair that Zavala had mentioned. After she had explained everything Damian and the leaders had told her, he'd tossed her a pair of googles and had handed her the hammer she'd been using for the past few days. Perhaps he'd learned she thought better on her feet.

Only after he'd set her project into the heat of the forge did he turn back to face her, removing his own googles.

"How do you feel about there being a bond?" The titan asked her, "Do you feel ready for it?"

She let out her breath, chewing the inside of her lip for a brief moment. "I'm nervous." She said honestly. "I-" She frowned, "Can I share some personal details with you?" She asked, "In confidence?"

Shaxx nodded. "Nothing leaves the forge." He promised her, and she let out a little sigh of relief.

"Okay." She said with a little nod. "I'm still a virgin." She said, it felt good to get it off her chest, because she knew Shaxx wasn't about to judge her. "I thought Damian would be the one that I was finally comfortable with, and he is- I am comfortable with him, but the idea that the first time I'm with someone is going to lead to all of this..." She set the hammer on the anvil in front of her, clenching both her fists around the handle. "It's just so overwhelming."

"Do you love Damian?" Shaxx asked her, studying her thoughtfully.

She nodded. "I do." She said honestly. "I feel like he and I are connected, like he's this missing piece of me that I never realized I needed until I met him. Maybe he really is, with the bond."