1.
the first time you met my parents
you ate all the meat on your plate and I held your hand under the table
they would have never known you were a vegetarian if I hadn't told them after you left
my father shook his head
and my mother
I think she knew I was falling in love with you
2.
we kissed with stars under our tongues
unsure of how to give each other a galaxy
unsure of if we were made of something more than what we learned about in anatomy textbooks
3.
you gave me Bronte
Whitman and Sexton
I never loved them like you did
but I tried so hard for you
felt so incompetent for not feeling the storm I have always felt in the center of my chest when poetry is able to move me
like lullaby
5. you said I love you first
and the force I used when I tackled you to the ground to plant kisses across your face
was my reply
6.
we read each others palms
when our parents were fast asleep
when we put our hands together
they spelt words neither of us had heard before
languages no one has ever spoken
we tried to find ourselves in the others palm
it was the first time we realized we might not be there
7.
the first time we made love
was in the back seat of your car
after you made fun of the "lacking indie song" I had you listen to
you've been a fan of The Kooks ever since
8.
statistically
a high school couple will only last two weeks to a month after having sex
but we never "had sex"
we made stars
forming constellations
that we named after each other
9.
we lasted five years
two months
and four days
from the first times you met my parents
10.
we did not end
in angry words or thrown plates
though that would be better than this
11.
we ended in hate crime
when a group of fucking bastards marked you with the swastika
as if they knew your grandfather was a German Jew
as if you deserved it for loving me
12.
I love you
more than most people will love in a lifetime
but I would go back
to the first time I saw you
pretend I was straight
if it meant you could breathe the air into your lungs
for another hour
day
minute
year
13.
I will never not blame myself
even though you
never would
14.
I am so sorry
I never knew love could blossom into hate no one like us deserves
