"To smile... I've forgotten."
- Ciel Phantomhive, Black Butler
I glance up at the hut I once called my home. It looks exactly the same when I left those years ago, other than the fact that the air is heavy and the house is more... decrepit.
I hesitate to go in. Returning here was not even near my to-do list. It was Aunt Mizuki who had coerced me to visit Koji for his sixth birthday.
A wave of nostalgia washes over me and those days spent here seem so broken, so full of holes; memories long forgotten. The trees shiver in the cold breeze and rain drops drip down the withered plants like falling tears. The house vaguely resembles the face of a miserable human, the windows, eyes. They bear deep into me - an empty broken-hearted soul.
The wooden door creaks open, revealing a very prissy Nadeshiko, donned in a simple grey dress.
"You're late." With a glance that flittered like a bird, she stalks off, leaving me with a slightly ajar door, as if daring me not to go in.
A treading of plodding footsteps goes fatally deadly silent.
"Koji's in his room."
Her head is tilted downwards in Nadeshiko's direction, although those words were clearly directed to me. An image of my mother's sparkling eyes and smile crumbles in a frame of seconds. It's frightening to know that a strong relationship built over years can be shattered within the frame of minutes.
I blink away the tears welling up in my eyes, and start up the stairs. I knew I shouldn't have come.
Koji is talking to himself. His back to me, he faces a mirror which is resting on the messy bed. I wait for him to see me.
He has grown. It had to be the case, with each passing year and all, but his skin is ashen grey and his legs attenuate, it's almost... inhumane.
I take in the surroundings - toys. Stuffed animals, paper planes, wooden tops are strewn all over the floor. I let out a small chuckle.
He hasn't turned.
Blood. The bed sheets are flecked with blood. The shock turns my cry to sound somewhat threatening.
Koji goes as rigid as a stone, his eyes dilated wide, and he steps back.
"Koji."
His eyes are sullen and his hair sticks out at odd places. I realize it isn't a mirror. It's a white stuffed bunny, stained with blood.
"Koji." I take a step towards him.
The reaction is immediate. His backs away, stumbling over the bed. "No, no, don' hurt me! Please!"
The stuffed toy falls to the ground. His hands reach up to his ears. A strident scream escapes his unusually scarred, red lips.
My hand is on the door knob and I am visibly shaking violently, from both consternation and inclemency.
His back against the wall, he slides down slowly, breathing erratic. "Why? Why wouldn't the monsters just leave me alone! What did I do? What did I do wrong!"
* * *
Nadeshiko finds me sitting outside the house two hours later. It is quiet and still, except for the soft, plaintive whimpers of the dying wild creatures.
What surprises me is that she sits down, right next to me.
"Is he- " She nods slowly, almost disbelievingly.
YOU ARE READING
Six Feet Under
Teen Fiction"I just want to keep that little flame in everyone alive, so that one day it may converge with others and burn as one, against the frozen frosted heart that had the fire out for long enough."
