Unsaid Words, Unsaid Letters

#26

Dear You,
You will be my last final crush who I won't confessed to this time. I mean if life was like in the movies then surely I'd be your secret admirer from afar, but this is real life so I'd be your non-existent secret admirer haha.

Well...at least thank you for kinda noticing me
I guess. Not only I won't confess to you, but I won't show you that I like you. I'm doing this for my own sake and your sake. I mean you are friends with my one of my ex-friends, and me and that guy had a bad history, so I'd already expect him to tell you bad impressions of me to you already or not.

You know, you are confusing me sometimes. Sometimes, I feel like you are looking at me and at my way when I'm focused on something or working on something, but at the same time I feel like I'm just going crazy due to stress.

There's a few reasons why I am not going to confess to you. One, I don't have straight teeth. Two, you might ghost me. Three, you could reject me then date someone else later. Four, you might judge me for my looks. Five, you are my final and last crush I will ever have and I will keep my crush to you a secret from you. Six, you seemed like you have your future mapped out while I am just a mess in planning my future. Seven, I am scared to even talk and be friends with you in person. Eight, I am scared to even look at you in class. Nine, you are my last final crush yet you were my first crush who make me feel calm and not entirely focused on you. 

Would we ever get to be friends? Or would we just stay as strangers forever? Or would we be just a classmate to one another? One of us have to start the conversation, but whatever haha. I may act like I don't care in front of you, but the truth is I do. I do have sincere feelings for you, but I just don't want to let you know...unless you want to. Or unless I just decide to tell you.

Sincerely,
Lizzie.