Change Your Mind

|Four

"I brought you a change of clothing" he tells her, after dislodging whatever had been stuck in his throat upon seeing her there, clutching a towel to her soaking body, staring back at him with those wide, innocent eyes

"It might be big, but at least it's warm" he continues, voice deep and just shaky enough for it to be noticeable.

Under it all, Miran shudders entirely, a little lost in what it's like to yearn for things he shouldn't--

maybe this is my sin, he thinks to himself,

wanting her as much as I do

The clothing nearly burns a hole into his skin and he grips on to it, clutching it as if it's the only handle left to keep him steady

"Thank you" Reyyan says, watching him almost curiously under her lashes

There's a fire growing on her cheeks, she can feel it blazing there just under her skin as he lets his eyes wander, the glowing quality of his gaze doing nothing to hide it's path, down the curve of her naked shoulder, past the length of her exposed thighs

She reaches out, slowly and with a measured hand to take the bundle of fabric from him but she's only pulled further into the black hole of his shallow breathing when he refuses to let go, using the hand she has on the bunched up dress instead to tug her forward, the force of it finally bringing their bodies together in a collision that takes her breath away

A gasp escapes her lips and he's close enough to take it from her, swallowing it entirely and parting his lips as if in search of more

He's changed out of his suit now, arms left bare by a collared shirt that's pulled up over his elbows, skin that she feels run up the length of her arm as he reaches around her to gather up all her hair to one side.

"I meant what I said before" he says, speaking now into the side of her neck left exposed "It's so hard for me to keep myself away from you" there seems a confession there somewhere, though it's lost amidst the boundless echoing of their want

How could it be so? She thinks to herself, feeling trapped under the spell of his infinite eyes

How could it be that every molecule in my body would surrender entirely for just a single touch from his hand?

She wants to scream then

How could it all have been a lie?

Tell me...Tell me...

but her lungs won't allow it. They languish instead in the scent of him, the capricious things, clinging to whatever essence it is that lives on his skin

feel...just feel he had told her

But that's not enough anymore, not after the way his eyes had gone cold, not after all the things he'd said--do you believe in fairy tales Reyyan?

"I need to know" she says "Miran"

His name sounds more like a plea and he freezes, the same frigidness of before glazing over his features

"Get dressed" he says, after the harshness finishes taking him away from her "before you catch a cold"

He says nothing more, placing the bundle of clothes on the counter and turning on his heel, leaving the room without another glance in her direction

Hours pass before she hears his voice again though this time it's quiet and muffled by the wall that separates the living space from the bedroom. Reyyan lies awake, unable to sleep despite the tiredness that seeps deeply into her muscles when she hears someone unlock the front door and make their way inside

"She's sleeping now" she vaguely hears Firat say "the girl is exhausted, Miran--it's a good thing I found you when I did, brother, who knows what might have happened"

Miran hums, uninterested perhaps in whatever conversation his loyal companion might be trying to have "Is there no electricity here?" comes his response "we'll need some more firewood then, the nights grow colder around here-"

"Miran" Firat's distant voice interrupts "are you aware of what you've done?"

She's motionless enough, sunken into the semi-rigid mattress in the next room, that she need only hold her breath to hear the next words ring clearly "You've spared the daughter of your greatest enemy, Miran"

it sinks into the air, making the next breath she takes heavy "or have you regretted finally taking revenge on the Şadoğlu name?"

She bites her cheek to not make a sound though a tear, heavy and telling still falls down the length of her face

Could it be, God?

Could it be that this man isn't who I thought he was?