Gone Are The Days...

Life Goes On

Its been 6 years since the rebellion I'm 19 now but still even at the age of 13 I remembered everything about the disastrous 45.

I remember the horror etched across by mama's face when she was told my father, brother, uncles and cousins were dead. She gave up soon after, They say she died of influenza but my sister's and I think it was of a broken heart. I was raised by my sister's and they left last month bound for America after saving up with their husbands for years.

I now live in our neighbours house and life is ok, but I wish Hamish the man of the house would leave me alone. He is married and his wife is with child for the 6th time and every time I'm alone with him without the children I have a fear that he will harm me, for he watches me with eyes full of lust, I know I have to leave  soon and when I have money I'm going to Edinburgh.

In the bleak rainy days here I sit and practice reading, it's hard for a person with no means and even harder for a woman. We have no freedom and I long to be a man to be free and have the wind blow through my pale brown hair, to feel the thud of a horses hooves underneath me as I travel. I suppose I'm lucky that I'm a fast learner because if I hadn't have been I wouldn't be read the legal documents passing my distant cousins old Edinburgh town home to me only 3 months after my sister's left of course though it will take months more to get the home and money left to me so I have rented a small cottage and paid a girl to help me and serve me.

Time Skip (1 week)

I woke up screaming sweat on my brow as I got out of bed trembling I called for my 1 servant Suzy.

"Mistress what is the matter?"
"Nothing, ...please get me a pen and paper" I replied quickly. No matter how poor I used to be or how our family used to be I don't want to struggle like that again, I was lucky my Cousin was successful and thank goodness he liked me. I stopped rambling in my head and reminded myself that it doesn't matter what I think I need a desirable match still and so should be a model 2nd class woman and soon wife, but it would be difficult I still hold dear traditions of the past and my background is not great I'm 'New Money'. I just hope acting right and not befriending the servants will become easier with time.

"Here ma'am"
"Thank you, you are dismissed"
Suzy curtsied and left closing the door. I sat and my desk and began to write, just what I had seen and always would......

(Flashback/Dream)

I shivered into my blanket as I listened to the wind howl. Next to me slept my sister's and mother we were head to toe in bed lying uncomfortably in our shifts.
I couldn't sleep so I crept out of bed and retrieved my shawl before I stepped outside to go see Jamie (our dog). I know he sleeps in the back garden so I went round and to my horror a man lay against the wall. I was speechless he was covered in blood and mud and looked horribly bedraggled his ginger hair in messy curls his face scared and he was holding his leg. He turned to me and begged me
"Please child get your mother please child"
I could hear the desperation in his voice so I did get my mother, we took him in. Within a day he died. At the time we thought it was bloodloss for he had a mighty bad wound he was holding on his leg, I will never forget the cold clammy feeling of his body or the way his eyes rolled back in his head. It haunts my every moment.

( Sorry that's terrible but it's kind of a little backstory and I'm still working on my writing since I'm still in school.

-BelleMcIntyre)