A path of broken falls

Chapter One - The Admit

"Ms Shepherd, I'll ask once more. Please can you tell me the first time that you communicated with them?

Five metal spheres collide into one another repeatedly, on the oak desk opposite. A reminder of how long I have perched at the end of this damn chair, weighing up various routes of exit, none of which are possible without the use of my arms. The interest and fascination I once had at watching Newtons cradle when I was a child had now vanished, the association of this environment was a memory I did not wish to keep. I recall the first time that my dad had tried to help me, his firm grip around my shoulders, shaking me with his grief as if his force would somehow remove it.

"Ms Shepherd, we require your cooperation in some form, in order for us to proceed with your treatment within this facility".

Looking up for the first time in the many hours of questioning and assessments, I lock and fixate my gaze ahead, his eyes intelligent and intriguing, yet somehow seemingly sincere. His pupillary light response and behavioural patterning communicated his ever growing frustrations. The eyes are said to be the only windows to our souls, his covered by rounded glasses that sit at the very tip of his straight sculpted nose. A chiselled jaw line and a head of curly blonde hair, the kind of blonde that questions how long it takes to maintain. A white lab coat that covers a grey shirt and tie is enough to provide me with instant distrust. I immediately switch my gaze to the floor.

A deep sigh fills the room. "Take her to the red unit" an exchange of nods occurs, followed by movement from the man stood in the corner, mannequin like. He follows his instructions. The grizzly looking man walks behind me "Stand" I ponder at my different options in how I respond but at the exact moment, I am lifted by the straps behind my back, uncomfortable and the buckles digging deep into my wrists, I scrunch my face to ease the feeling but in all honesty, this is far less painful than sitting in this room. The suited doctor walks behind me as I trace his movements from the chair to the door, and hear the steps follow behind. I hear the inverting of a liquid and I instantly know what is to come. My non-negotiable talking tactic hadn't gone to plan! I thrust forward to shake off the man holding me but the sharp pressure stabs into the left side of my neck, thick tepid liquid tearing through each layer of skin until it reaches my muscles, my eyes begin to droop and my legs feel loose and heavy. My heart begins to speed, faster, harder and I can hear the beating in my ears. My cry and muddle words fall out of my mouth slurred and sloppy. I taste metallic. I see a grey haze. My legs! I cannot feel my legs and then I am down.