Breakable

I

I have been wandering around for hours, i don't even know how long i have been holding the same cigarette between my fingers without lightning it .

I opened my phone to know what is the time, and it surprise me that it is 1 AM.

" Time passed real quick, right?" i said to myself sarcastically.

I took the lighter out of my pocket and put the cigarette between my pale lips and lit it. i exited my home with one idea in my mind "THAT I NEED A THERAPIST". i am not insane or anything, but i need to talk to someone who is capable of understanding my pain.

I tried a lot to tell my friends,but that made me realize that i have none of them. I tried to open up to my parents about my feelings, but every time i try to do that , i feel that words are stuck in my throat chocking me.

A tear dropped from my eyes while i was exhaling the smoke. I closed my eyes and my head fell back trying my best to find any pleasure.

A few moments later i opened my eyes to find myself standing in front of a house. It took me 2 seconds to recognize it. I know this place , I know it so well, it's where the pain, misery and suffering started , where i met him in the party.

I still remember that smile that caught my eyes in the crowd. I still remember how his eyes were sparkling.

I felt that something like a dagger had stabbed me in my heart. It made me put my hand in my heart trying to ease the pain, but it made no difference. Tears blurred my vision as I started to remember how did everything start..

.......

FLASHBACK

one year ago...

"but, you should come, it will be so fun" she said this sentence more than 12 time.

"ok, ok i'm coming. Jesus, you couldn't keep your mouth shut for the last 30 minutes". Mia is throwing a party in her house, she wants me to come with her, since i'm always home doing nothing.

She's always wondering how i'm living my life that way. I'm always home doing my homework, playing with my dog or on my phone, i'm not a nerd, but i find it kinda enjoyable to finish my duties.

"see ya at the party, find something interesting to wear." she winked at me and left.

I didn't know what she meant until now, and i couldn't decide what to wear. What did she mean by " something interesting"?. I'm not the party girl type, but i have to go anyway.

I only have an hour to get ready, and i still don't know what to wear.

I snatched a plain purple t-shirt and a pair of trousers from the cupboard. I didn't really care about my appearance, since i'm going there by force. I applied a little bit of make up since i'm going to a party.

I looked at the mirror on last time, my golden curls looked so perfect.

After 15 minutes of walking..

I arrived there in no time, drunk and lifeless bodies were everywhere around the house. I entered trying to squeeze my fragile frame through the sweating bodies.

I made it to the kitchen safely without being touched, through the loud beating music i heard a familiar voice saying, "you made it!".

I turned around to find Mia smiling at me and holding a red plastic cup.

"yeah" i said nervously, i'm not used to this atmosphere and it's no okay to see bodies grinding against each other that way.

Her icy blue eyes looked at my tee and narrowed them at me, i could not hold anymore, i wanted to ask her so bad why is she looking at me that way.

"what!" that was the only thing i was able to say, i was so nervous that i looked away from her eyes, my eyes were running from her cold stares, but my eyes met other hazel pair.

I couldn't break away the look, i was just staring at his amazingly beautiful eyes. Mia noticed that i wasn't concentrating with her, she turned around to look where i am looking, once she noticed the smiling tall figure i'm looking at she said.

" oh, he's not your type." she said , her voice made the reality hit me again. I looked at her and i found her smirking.

I couldn't take all of these recent events at one time, i needed some fresh air. I walked past her heading to the front door. I didn't know where should i head to, so i decided that will set on the front door steps since it's not crowded here anymore.

I don't know why she's so mean to me, god!. she's my goddamn best friend, my mind suddenly drifted my thoughts to those beautiful hazel eyes, i kept thinking about him and his breathtaking smile. I wish i knew his name.

A heavy footsteps coming from behind me interrupted my thoughts. the sound is getting nearer and nearer until a pair of sneakers were standing next to me.

My mind was not completely concentrating, but i was afraid that this person might be drunk and he's here to throw up. So i stood up quickly without looking at him and walking past him, but strong hands were wrapped around my wrist pulling me back in front of him. I was about to scream, but here his eyes again forcing me to close my mouth again.

It was him again, this time i concentrated on all of his features. He had golden curls that matched his hazel eyes , his pointed nose looked perfect with his sharp jawline . He was perfect just like the Greek statues. My eyes traveled up from his jaw to his pink lips , i looked away in no time , but it was too late , he already noticed and he started to shorten the distance between us. All my senses stopped working for a second as he started to lean in.

...........

A very loud sound stopped my track of my thoughts, i looked next to me to find a really bright light preventing me from opening my eyes, i put my hand in front of eyes so i can know what's the source of the light and sound.

" GET AWAY FROM MY WAY!, I'VE BEEN HONKING FOR 3 MINUTES AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN BLINK"  an angry voice said from a car.

The reality hit me so hard , i was standing in the middle of the street staring at the house and the car was right in front of me. i was so scared ,i ran away from the car's way, my body was so weak that i fell on the ground . The car speed away , and i held my shaking body trying to stop the streaming tears..