The Shadow of the Past

Chapter 32 - Regret

Tristan's POV

I was drinking whiskey in the study room, lost in my thoughts. I felt numb. It felt like my heart stopped beating.

"Tristan." My mother interrupted my thoughts as she called me.

I raised my head and looked at him. "Yes?" I mumbled, puzzled.

"You lost in your thoughts. I have been calling you for a while. What are you thinking about?" She asked, concerned as she gave me a compassionate look and stroked my hair gently.

I sighed, looking away. "I think about my life which I have ruined because of these secrets." I replied dryly.

My mother sighed. "I am really sorry, Tristan. It is my fault, but believe me if I knew it..." She shook his head sadly and gave me an apologetic look. "I would never do anything to hurt you." She said, stroking my hair.

"I know, Mom. It is just...." I sighed without finishing my sentence and shook my head. "It isn't important anymore. She is...married to someone else." I added in sorrow.

"Maybe you should talk to Mila." She suggested.

"What will I tell her? And even if I talk to her, what will change? It is too late. I can not go and tell her that you know I thought I was your half-brother because of that I broke up with you. But now I learned it was a lie. So leave your husband and come to me." I said ironically. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "They even have a...son. I can not do it to her nor that innocent child." I added sadly.

"At least let her know the truth. It will make things better. Trust me. I am telling this from my own experience." She commented, giving me a sympathetic look. "Let her know that you didn't want to hurt her feelings. And you loved...love her." She added sadly.

I looked away without saying anything, leaning my elbows on my thighs and thought about what my mother had told me.

Mila's POV

After breastfeeding Joshua, I grabbed my bag and left. I was going to meet up with Jenna.

When I walked out, I saw Lucas getting out of his car. I looked at him, surprised. He gave me a slight smile as he approached me.

"Hi." I mumbled.

"Hi. How are you? And Joshua?" He asked, running his hand through his hair.

"Thanks, we are fine. You?" I asked, giving him a slight smile.

"Trying to be better." He replied, giving me a sad smile. I looked away, biting my lower lip nervously. He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Umm...I talked to the lawyer yesterday." He informed, sadness in his eyes. "I signed the papers for divorce. He will connect with you today." He added.

I looked at him, surprised. After our last conversation, I didn't wait for this from him.

"And....I am sorry for my words." He said, giving me an apologetic look.

"Don't worry. I understand you, but believe me I tried, but..."

"You still love him." He finished my sentence, giving me a knowing look. I nodded, embarrassed.

He forced a smile. "I hope you will be happy." He said. "I am going to Italy today. But don't worry I ordered the lawyer to deal with the paperwork necessary for divorce." He informed.

I nodded. "Thank you for everything, Lucas. I hope you will find a woman who will love you like you love her." I said, giving him a warm smile.

He forced a smile. "Take care of yourself and Joshua." He gave me a lazy smile.

"You too." I said, smiling at me and hugged him. He hugged me back.

Tristan's POV

I pulled the car over in front of the Parker's mansion gate. I decided to talk to Mila and told her about everything. I needed to be a weight off my shoulders. It was getting too much for me to bear. Moreover, there was some hope or gut instinct deep inside my heart. I didn't know what to call it, but it told me that everything would get better. As much as I tried not to think about it, but I still hoped for it. But I knew nothing would change.

When I wanted to get out of the car, I saw Mila talking to a man in the garden. It was Lucas. I squeezed the steering wheel tightly while looking at them. Then they hugged.

Move on, Tristan. You are too late. She is in love with her husband.

I sighed, depressed and averted my gaze, still squeezing the steering wheel. Then I started the car and drove away.

I was in my office in the company. I tried to focus on the paperwork in front of me on the desk. But my mind was elsewhere. I breathed deeply and closed the file. I leaned my elbows on the desk and held my head between my hands, closing my eyes.

How will I stop myself from feeling this pain? I feel like I die every day. I can't bear this pain. I feel helpless.

Suddenly, my office phone rang. I frowned, annoyed and picked up the phone.

"Yes?" I snapped.

"Sir, you have a visitor." My secretary informed. "Mr. Parker wants to see you." She added.

Daniel Parker? What is he doing here?

"Let him in." I said and hung up.

I breathed deeply and stood up. I walked away from my desk.

He knocked on the door and opened it. Daniel Parker walked in and closed the door behind him. He was holding Joshua in his arms.

Why did he bring Joshua?

I looked at him, puzzled. I cleared my throat and asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I came here because I would not let my son go through what I had gone through." He replied, emphasizing the words my son. I frowned, looking away.

Despite the fact that he was innocent and hadn't left my mother and me, I was still distant towards him. I didn't know maybe it was because of Mila. Perhaps I blamed him for losing Mila. I breathed deeply. I didn't know what to think anymore. I was angry at everyone; my grandfather, my mother, Daniel Parker and...myself. I knew it was all my grandfather's fault, but I couldn't stop myself feeling this way.

"I don't let this happen to you too." He said, looking into my eyes. I gave him a questioning look. "You will not find out that you have a son after several years like me. You will not live all these years without knowing the existence of your son." He declared firmly.

I looked at him in astonishment.

My what?

I shook my head, dumbfounded and looked at Joshua. He gave me a cheeky smile and extended his arms towards me, babbling.

"My baby?" I mumbled barely in shock.