The Shadow of the Past

Chapter 25 - The genes

Mila's POV

I was making funny faces at Joshua while changing his clothes. He was looking at me attentively while smiling cheekily, showing me his dimples.

"Did angel kiss your cheeks?!" I cooed him, giving him a smile. He giggled, looking at me. "Do you like to show Mommy your dimples?" I gave him a bright smile. "My boy has dimples?!" I cooed, tickling him softly, amused. He gave me his cheeky grin.

My mother approached us as she smiled warmly.

"Yes, like his father." She commented.

"Yeah." I agreed, still tickling Joshua slightly.

I stopped instantly as I noticed what I had just said. Shit! She caught me off guard.

"Umm...I mean no. Lucas hasn't dimples." I mumbled, trying to control my voice as much as possible.

She gave me a knowing smile. I bit my lower lip nervously. It was late. She had found it; denying was meaningless. I felt embarrassed.

"Why didn't you tell us?" She asked, looking at me.

I sighed, entwined my hands tightly and averted my gaze.

"I didn't want to disappoint you." I confessed, looking at her. "I promised you, but I broke my promise." I mumbled.

"Oh, dear. I wanted it for you. Because I didn't want you to suffer like me." She confessed softly, giving me a sympathetic smile.

"Mom, I am sorry." I gave her an apologetic look.

"Did Tristan know?" She asked, looking at Joshua who was playing with his rattle.

"No." I shook my head. "When I wanted to tell him, he...." My heart tightened as I remembered that scene. I looked down sadly. I breathed deeply and continued. "...didn't listen to me and told me he didn't want me in his life nor hear anything from me. After....that, I couldn't tell him anything. I didn't want him to think that I used my baby." I sighed, depressed. "And...I don't think he wants...." I stroked Joshua's hair gently, giving him a sad smile without finishing my sentence.

Tristan's POV

I was in a lunch meeting with my father and our foreigner co-partners. But I couldn't concentrate on the meeting; my mind was elsewhere.

As the meeting finished, I left the restaurant. I wanted to be alone.

When I was driving, I saw Mila at the park. I pulled the car over. She was holding a baby in her arms while saying something to him. I couldn't hold myself and smiled. It was her son.

When I was in England four months ago, Cody informed me that Mila gave birth. It was a boy. Joshua. But I didn't see his photos. I was curious who he looked like: Mila or....that ginger bastard. Probably, he had his father's hair or eyes.

If everything was different, he.....

I breathed in deeply as I tightened my grip around the steering wheel and continued watching them. They looked so cute together. He was so little, but I couldn't see him properly because of his hoodie. I smiled sadly while staring at them. I often imagined this scene, but in my dreams, I wasn't watching them afar like a stranger; I was beside my wife and my...son or daughter.

Now someone else was living my dream.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the seat. I sighed and started the car.

****

I was searching for a wedding anniversary gift for my parents at the mall, but I couldn't find anything special.

When I left the shop, I saw Mila's mother with a baby, probably Joshua. I averted my gaze and wanted to leave without drawing attention. But I was late. She gave me a smile as she approached me, holding the baby in her arms. I forced a smile.

"Hi, Tristan. Nice to see you again." She greeted me, giving me a warm smile.

"Hi...Umm...Fine, you?" I mumbled uncomfortably. Then I looked at the baby.

He was staring at me with his brown eyes while leaning his head against his grandmother's chest, holding his blue rattle. I smiled at him softly. He was so cute. And he didn't look like his bastard father. He had brown hair and shining brown eyes.

"Cute boy." I commented, smiling without taking my eyes off the little boy, mesmerized.

Suddenly, he dropped his toy. He looked down at his rattle and started crying.

I instantly picked up the rattle and gave him his toy. Seeing him crying made my heart sink. It was a strange feeling.

He took the toy and stopped crying.

"Hey, buddy." I said softly and tapped his little nose while smiling happily.

"Tristan, could you hold him for a second? I need to make a call, but I can not pull my phone out of my bag while holding Joshua." Paola asked.

I looked at her, dumbfounded. Then I looked at Joshua. If I drop him?

"...Me?...Umm...Ok." I mumbled nervously.

I took Joshua in my arms carefully. My heart was pounding like crazy. I felt so nervous as well as excited.

Calm down, Tristan!

Paola pulled his phone out of her bag as she walked away a little.

I breathed deeply and looked at the little munchkin. He gripped my jumper while looking at me. I stroked his hair gently, smiling happily. He leaned his head against my chest.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling sheepishly. Holding him in my arms, it felt....strange. I couldn't describe how I felt, but it was so good. There was something odd in this little munchkin that drew me towards him. I felt this strange pull towards him at first sight.

I looked at Paola who was still talking on the phone. It was more than ten minutes. But actually, I didn't want her to finish talking on the phone so early. I enjoyed these moments with Joshua.

Joshua raised his toy towards me, making noises. He was so cute. I smiled and grabbed his toy. I shook his toy in front of him while making funny faces. He gave me his adorable cheeky grin, showing his dimples.

My expression changed instantly as I remembered my conversation with Mila. Sadness crossed my features.