Family- the good, bad and worse

1. The Game Room

Rain. The pitter patter of rain against the floor to ceiling windows is a loud background noise to the clanking of spoons and forks against beautiful china dishes. The atmosphere in the lavish dining room is tense with an awkward silence so palpable, I can puncture it with my fork.

I notice the cautious glances thrown my way by my mother and her boyfriend, Rohan Khanna, as if waiting for me to explode. But the burst of emotion they're expecting won't come because even though the sight of my mother with anyone but my dad makes me sick, dad wouldn't want me to misbehave.

The dinner proceeds with intermittent small talk made by my mother as she asks Mr. Khanna's daughter, Amiya, questions about her hobbies and interests. I look at Mr. Khanna, our eyes meet but we don't look away, neither of us ready to back out; he looks at me with a complex expression but I don't care about what he feels. I don't like him and that's that. In the end, my mother draws his attention to something his ten year old daughter said and I look away.

I feel out of place as the girl shyly tells my mother about the shelves of books in her room, as her father looks at her with a warmth I have missed for seven years now. If someone was to paint them in that moment they would look like a perfect family of three.

The image in front of me turns hazy as I gaze at them mindlessly; transported to memories of my family eating dinner together, talking and laughing when I was eleven years old. Mom and dad would talk about their day at work then ask me about school and friends. They would even laugh at my stupid jokes and stories. After dinner we would go to bed together where we'd all read our own books or sometimes they would read me bedtime stories. Scraping of chairs against the floor brings me back to reality and with a sharp stab I am forced to accept that they are just memories of lost times. I haven't finished dinner but it seems no one cares if I eat or not and so I casually get up, taking my time.

"The food was delicious but now I feel like having coffee. What do you think, Rohan?" My mother prompts, not being subtle at all. I know what she's trying to do and though I don't interrupt their little charade, I just want to get out of here.

"Sounds like a plan. Amiya, why don't you show Kabir bhaiya your game room in the meanwhile? Hmm?" Mr. Khanna encouragingly pats his daughter's back and she looks at me warily. There's an uncertainty in her gaze that makes me wonder what this child thinks of me.

"Um, okay papa."

I unthinkingly follow the girl through the mansion while pondering at what I look like through her eyes. Does she see a prospective older brother who would love her, care for her? Or does she see a moody teenager who's unfriendly and intimidating? Or does she not care enough to think anything of me, at all? We reach a heavy wooden door and she pushes it, looking at me with a half mischievous and half nervous smile.

I have been told that I have a great sense of judgement when it comes to people and their characters. Whatever I assume usually turns out to be true and so, from my limited interaction with her, I judge that the kid is a socially awkward, shy, bookworm who stays in her room and doesn't have many friends.

Following on, I expect her game room to be a pink room full of stuffed toys or whatever it is girls these days play with. My astonishment is, hence, absolutely justified when the game room turns out to be a room full of various arcade and video games. It is a gamer's dream come true and I am left gaping at the girl.

"Welcome to my game room, I hope you like it?" She asks quietly, looking at me from the corners of her eyes. Her nervous smile has now turned into a half smirk that drips confidence. I guess my expressions are as transparent as air. I am back to the blank mask of indifference and her confidence wanes.