Free Them

Chapter Two

Javier the anteater looked up as his sister descended from the top of the fence to meet him. She was wearing a smirk and Javier could tell something was up.

"So I have spoken with the object of your affections," the pigeon began.

"Noodlebuckets is not my boyfriend," groaned Javier.

"Hey, I didn't say it was Noodlebuckets. If he wasn’t your babe, how’d you know who I was talking about, huh?”

“Because you tease me about him allll the time, sis. God.”

“Whatever. Do you want to know about our conversation or what?”

“Okay, yeah, tell me.”

“I would tell you,” his sister began. Javier waited impatiently. She blinked and gazed off in the distance. Javier gave her an expectant glance. She smiled politely.

“?!!???” said Javier.

“What?”

“You would tell me…? Gosh dang it, sis, finish your sentence!!”

“Oh, sorry, pigeon habit. I would tell you… for a price.” She smirked her up-to-something smirk and her eyes widened and then narrowed, off and on, like a blinking light.

“Oh my god, stop that eye thing. How much?”

Javier’s sister frowned and resumed her normal eye position.  “You have to tell me why you like Noodlebuckets so much. Also, 120 real.”

“Why do you want to know that? Also, no.”

“Because it’s funny. Emotions. They’re so silly. As you know, I don’t have any. #littlepigeonthings. It’s interesting to hear how you losers deal with them. Also, fine, twelve real.”

“Deal. Well, he’s just… really cute I guess.” Javier had no idea where to get twelve real.

“Really cute, you guess? Come on, what are your feeeelings? Even I can notice cuteness.” Not that a huge snake was anywhere near her idea of cute. Freaking gross, more like it.

“I don’t know. He’s so intense. Reading those books, looking at those maps. I mean, at first I thought, ‘How can he do that, snakes can’t read.’ But then I noticed the way his tongue flickers a little when he turns the pages, and I thought maybe I was judging him too harshly. I mean, look at the guy. His eyes are so full of passion and his brain’s probably full of knowledge. Snakes are smart, right? He’s gotta be the snakiest snake. So smart and cute and serpentine. I  guess that’s why I like him so much.”

How am I even related to this ant-eating snake-loving compost pile?‘The snakiest snake.’ I’m so done with emotion-feeling animals. “Wow, Javier. Um, yeah, uh, cool feels, bruh.”

“So what happened when you talked to him? You said you’d tell me. I’ll give you the money later.”

“Right, yeah. Okay, so I flew over to his cage and I asked him what he was doing and stuff. You know, with the map and whatnot. Turns out he totally has the hots for this dead American dude and he’s trying to escape the zoo.”

“Wait, what? American dude?”

“Apparently he like, killed some slaves or something? Anyway, he was some big inspiration and Noodlebuckets wants freedom, so he’s got this weird plan to bust outta here.”

“He’s so amazing. Oh my god, I do kind of want freedom. But, wait, so he’s seeing this dead guy?”

“He sure sounded into the idea. Interesting ghost story. The human American ghost who dated a Brazilian snake. I’d publish it.”

“Weird.”

“Anyway, he needs a bunch of other animals to join him. I told him you’d probs be down.”

“No way, thanks. Did he… say anything about me?”

“He said you’re one heck of a snake charmer and he’d like to slither on over to see you.”

“I hate you.”

His sister rolled her eyes. “He was like ‘Splendid, tell him to spread the message. A meeting will take place tomorrow at midnight. Gather all in favor of an escape plan, and tell them to report to the central vending area. You’ll need keys to open their exhibits. Use your aerial abilities.’ Ha. He thinks I’m gonna help.”

“Which you are. This escape is important to Noodlebuckets. As my sister, you should help the people I care about. Just ‘cause you’re a free pigeon who doesn’t live in a cage doesn’t mean you can blow off helping us zoo slaves.”

“K, Noodle-lover. I’ll help. I expect millions of favors in the future. Also, twelve real like you promised.”

“Then we’re gathering animals. For escape. For Noodlebuckets.”

For my trashcan sibling. “Yeah,” was all Javier’s sister said before spreading her wings and flying off to go talk some loser animals into escaping their slavery zoo, or whatever.