It's all a big cycle that the same events happen over and over again. I think it's time to put the process in paper. This is how it starts. I get to school and immediately get tired of everything. I don't want to do work or speak to anyone. Suddenly seeing your face changes that for a while. I can manage it for a bit but then I start to drift off into a place that I can't get out of unless someone gets me out of it. A place where I am told that I should give up, where I should stop trying and just stop acting like a fool. I twitch when I see the weird things I do in my head to make you smile. It's not always physical when I need to wake up. Sometimes i need to wake up mentally because things are falling right apart right in front of me. Your leaving right in front of my eyes. I start to isolate myself far from others and try to find some energy but it fails. I think this is the first time where I've been scared to communicate with you, maybe because this is my last chance. Wake up- realize that I need to get up from this trance that I'm in and talk to darelyn because I want to get closer with her, she is probably losing interest in you ( not that she probably has any) and your getting really boring. But you told me not to worry and I'll try not to but idk if I should bring it up with you sometimes. " go with the flow" you told me. Ok, I'm closer than anyone. I just need to wake up.