Misunderstood

Chapter 1

She turned around when she heard her name and saw it was her crush, who just got distracted by Sam so she turned back quickly and, heart hammering, she walked quickly to her class line and made sure to stick to the front where she knows he does not venture but a part of her wishes he would come for her. She wanted to look back but did not want to get caught because then she would not be able to pretend like she didn't hear him and she felt like she was vibrating by how much her heart was beating and she didn't want to make it worse. "Andrea, you look pretty today with your hair down" She looked up to see Sasha and half smiled and blushed and said thanks, although she couldn't help but notice how Sasha looked and smiled at her friends, while they snickered. Her hair was shoulder length but flat and a bit oily, she could wash her hair today and the end of two days, it would be oily again. Andrea felt like her hair was on display and regretted cutting it on Sunday, but it just seemed like it was the best thing since her hair was getting too long and her flat hair looked horrible when it is long.

Andrea tried to pay attention to assembly but she was more worried about her semi-long nails that she forgot to cut yesterday. She felt so stupid, she knew today was inspection and she had to forget to cut her nails. She can only hope there is a special announcement so inspection is moved to another day and she can cut her nails later today. She knows that some girls would carry nail clippers but she can't just ask them, she wished she could and she can think of how to and mean to, but in the end, she gets scared and she finds herself making excuses to get away because conversation is not really her thing, oh, she can and will talk to those she knows well but there is always a part of her that says 'this is enough communication now' to placate people into thinking she is fine so she could finally be on her own. She has always been the type to prefer being alone or with one or two friends relaxing rather than parting or being hyper, not that she never got hyper but it seldom happens and even with her close friend, she needs to be alone after a while.

Her wish kind of came true, the inspection was moved for tomorrow but in its place, phycologists came to talk about suicide and pressure and offered free sessions to matriculants and Stacy's friends. She felt it all was a waste of time, how can talking about it help? The way she thought of it, they don't tell you anything, they just asked about your feeling and how you are doing and you could always lie, at least in her experience with them after her parents divorced and the incident two years prior, she knows that they don't give you a solution and they don't really know when you lie.

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For a Grade eleven class, it was too noisy, you can't concentrate on anything! I thought I could do my math's homework that I did not complete but if I can't concentrate, how am I going to do it? My mind is always swirling with thoughts and dreams...

Andrea let out a huff of breath and slumped in her seat and dropped her pen, she winced when she noticed she attracted attention so she got busy by putting her books away and looked around class and just peeked at the back where Kody is with his friend's, she looked away before anyone noticed her looking and made fun of her. She was on a different level of him, so it would never work, why she has to like him of all the guys in school, grates on her. It seems like such a cliché for her, she who is the lonely wallflower to fall for the popular guy that uses her. Andrea knows he uses her for money and he knows it is hard for her to say no too, but knowing it does not make it easier to say no and she finds herself giving him money on a daily basis and if she happens not to have any, she feels guilty but there is always a hope because he will come to her again...

She looked to her only friend in class who was with her group of friends on the other side and she wondered why it is so hard for her to just go up and talk to someone and have confidence in doing so, the way others do... she also wishes she wanted to have so many friends. The thing is, she likes to be included and wanted or know she's wanted like everyone else but allowed to stay alone in the group and have minimal communication and still be good friends, she doesn't see any reason to gossip or small talk which in her opinion is boring and it's just there to fill an awkward space. To her, if you can't be together in comfortable silence and must fill it, you are walking on eggshells and you would always walk on eggshells in whatever relationship you have. That being said, it is probably the opposite for extroverts as everyone has their own comforts with the people around them.

Jade was loud and said what was on her mind and normally she and I would stay away from each other but due to a situation, we became acquainted and talking and became friends and she included me in her group but I feel like they don't want me with them so I stay away as much as I can. She also had a secret that she thought no one knew and I let her believe that because I don't want it to be awkward with us because she knows that I know...

The class quieted when the teacher entered and Andrea took out the class register she got from the office that she had to sign for, as the form teacher made her responsible for the registry and she is proud to be trusted by the teacher for this responsibility. She went up to the teacher and gave him the register and she felt like all eyes were on her which ruined the proud feeling she had as she felt judged and she remembered the comment about her hair and felt self-conscious and more so when she heard his voice talking which accelerated her heart.

"Sir! Can I change seats? I can't sit here, please sir!" He does not sit next to his friends but close, but what he means by that is that he does not want to sit next to Sally, she is what you will call plump and she was quiet like me, I don't envy her, even if I do like him, I know he can be a jerk, I just think he is a jerk because it goes with his whole 'cool persona'. I see past the mask he has up and the glimpses are what I like, plus he just carries himself so well.

Sally puts her head down because she knows that remark was meant for her and Andrea just wanted to comfort her but although they both are outcasts, they are not friends and barely spoke to each other. Sally felt like all the attention that was on her, pinned her and they were all dissecting and studying her and she wished she could just disappear or be invisible, she hates school sometimes!

"Kody, I separated you from your friends for a reason so unless you have a valid reason to move other than that, the answer is no" the teacher sighed in expiration, he knows Kody is just being loud spoken because of Sally but there is nothing he can do.

"But sir, there's no place for me here" the teacher looked at him and the "enough space' "I can see plenty of space, now stop messing around and let me finish the register call" "Sir, yes sir" Kody gave a military tone and salute in mock and snickered with his friends.

This is the time that I don't know why I like him and scold myself for downgrading myself but feelings don't listen to logic and I hate that part of myself that care even though he proves to be moving in a bad direction and hate myself more for not even going and talking to Sally when I know how it feels and give her support even if it doesn't mean anything but I'm also scared to be targeted. The bell rang for next period and I got up with my bag but when I saw no one else getting up and going, I sat down slowly, my neighbor Kathleen laughed "where are you going? Didn't you hear the announcement this morning about the teachers changing classes?"

She took out the books for the next subject that she saw Kathleen had taken out and already wished it was break, which is laughable as registration only just finished.

"Class, we are starting a project and I will be putting you in groups of three so you will sit next to your assigned partners for the project in this period" Andrea was put with Sally and Zackery, who is one of the badboys of the school, they are the opposite of the populars, the populars are loved and envied at the same time, everyone wants to be them or with them but with the badboys, they are dangerous and scary and everyone keeps there distance far away from them and they are the cause of most of the fights that breaks out in school and they always win, well except Zackery and its only because he does not fight in school but by the scars and bruises he always wears, he does fight, probably in the rumored underground fight club. They are delinquents and its rumored that they are in a gang and they sell drugs, it's a known fact that they are the suppliers for dagga and heroine in school, to the students at least.

Out of all the people Sally and I can get stuck with, we get Zackery, I can see and hear the looks and whispers around me as I moved to sit next to Sally, the desks are in threes and Sally is sitting by the wall so I can sit next to her or in the end, either way, when Zackery comes, I will be sitting next to him. Luckily, he is not here today so I can have some relief and prepare myself for tomorrow.