d rose. d rose. d rose. d rose. d rose. d rose.

boobs :)

wrote this wit the gang. crafted thith w the boyes.

-

I don't really know how I got here and the truth is, I don't mind it. The last time I was in a Walmart bathroom was when I was eight and couldn't hold it anymore. Look at me now hair a mess and my bare feet on the Walmart bathroom floor. This is gonna be interesting.
I was probably tripping acid or something, because if I was sober I wouldn't be within 50 feet of the putrid place, but for some reason it feels like home. I could take a nap in the urinals and reach in the trash can for a soggy surprises, eat it for dinner. Paper towel blankets, baby. This is where it's at. Moving to wipe the barf off my thigh, I wave my hand over the automatic paper towel dispenser. However to my dismay, nothing came out. "of course" I grumble under my breath before opting to just wipe the barf off with my shirt. Throwing the putrid cloth to the side I stumble over to the big stall in the back, slumping onto the floor with a groan. My mess of hair was inches away from a pile of moist toilet paper, splayed on the ground much like I was. I was mid vomit when I heard rustling and a few groans coming from a different part in the bathroom. They were a mix of pain and pleasure. Finally getting the courage to slink out of the stall I dusted a few small scraps of toilet paper off of my knees. I shoved the stall door open and with a loud creek it slammed against the wall. I stumbled out and that's when I heard a loud bang. My eyes widened when I saw it. A buck ass naked man hanging out of the trash can that had been tipped over; paper towels surrounded him.
"Hey, honeybuns, come here often?" He said, still lodged halfway inside the trash can, reaching down into the dark depths to give his putrid plunger a scratch.
I was about to scream in surprise and mild arousal when there was rattling from above, and I whipped my head over to the source of the noise. Oh hell yeah, here comes Big Sexy, I find myself thinking unconsciously, even though I didn't know what was coming. There's a loud SLAM, and a big man dressed in a Tinky-Winky Teletubby costume drops from the ceiling, landing on all fours.
"I'm here to join the party," he says, sensual deep voice booming.
Oh my god, I think. I'm so fucking turned on right now.
Who wouldn't be? With these two sexy specimens right in front of you, you should be worshipping the floor. These two men are alpha as fuck. The Teletubby man continued on all fours over to the other man, sitting in the dusty trashcan like Oscar the grouch from Sesame Street. With a groan of pain, maybe pleasure the man tumbled out of the trash when it was turned upside down and shook out so all of it's smelly, wet contents fell out on top of him. Unable to contain my desire any longer I lunged at the two, growling like a feral beast in heat while joining them in the pile of trash. "Oh, it's a hundred percent chance of rain down here I see" the trash man says, gripping me below the belt.
I was so shocked all I could do was stare as the two men pawed at me rasping words that were dirtier than the trash around us. In one swift movement we were all on the floor in one giant heap. The floor was wet and cold but their bodies were so warm. It was all just a cluster of purple and tan. My mind was going 100 miles per hour trying to figure out what to do next. Then I saw it. A large winged cockroach crawling around on the back flap of the Tinky-Winky onesie. I didn't want to ruin the party so I did what any sane person would. Because i am clearly sane. I moved my hand slowly down to the backside of Mr. Tinky-Winky and unclasped one of the buttons.
"oooh hooo hoo" he shivered as the cold air made its way inside his onesie. I had to move fast since the cockroach was making a b-line straight for the crack. I flicked it and that was my mistake. It landed on trash dude and he immediately went stiff.
"what is on my back?" He asked calmly. Before I could say anything he was up and jumping around the bathroom batting at the cockroach to get it off. Once he was done overreacting I knew I had to find a way to get them both back into the mood. I swaggered over to the paper towel dispenser and leaned back. The wrrr of the paper towel coming out filled our ears. The paper towel tickled my back as I spoke, "shall we continue?" No words were spoken, but I knew the answer when I heard Tinky-Winky's other button unsnap. It was go time!
"Aw, hell yeah," Trash Man groaned, a low rumble from his urinal water-slicked chest, the paper towels still rolling out continuously. One may think the sound is annoying, but no. Not we rowdy fellas. This was music to get the two fellas behind me in the mood for some passionate booty-smushing.
"I'm gonna take my bald gnome for a stroll in your misty forest," Teletubby man groaned, approaching me.
"Do it. Tickle my dinky real hard." I moaned like a banshee, issuing the order like a dictator.
"First I gotta lube you up," Teletubby man growled, and I heard the sound of soap being violently pumped and trembled with anticipation.
"Fuck, can this thing dispense soap a little faster?!" Screamed Teletubby man.
"Let's just punch it. Beat it up real good." Trash man said.
I hissed in frustration when the two men started attacking and dirty talking the soap dispenser instead of me. They should be stuffing my turkey right now!
"Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna open you wide and gaping, you stupid whore!" One of them yelled, smacking the
"You like that you stupid whore? You convince store whore? Bet you're really cheap, huh. Bet you let any dudes fuck you up like a nasty slut."
"EHEM? MY BAKED POTATO HERE NEEDS SOME LOVE." I half-screamed, startling the two men out of their foolish activities.
It was amazing and absolute dream, nothing could be better. It was on and off they had easily distracted personalities so one way or another we weren't gonna finish this the way we planned. After about 10 more minutes of sweaty wrestling I gave in. I got up and saw the grotesque image in the mirror. My hair was a mess pull of paper towel pieces and knotted all over. My body was covered in a light shiny layer that was a mix of suds and sweat. The two bodies appearing next to me still looked fine as hell though. I took one of the many paper towels that had been dispensed and wiped a few spots of soap off my body because blowing a kiss and giving a horrifying wink to the two and walking out of the Walmart bathroom the only sound being made was the squishing of my feet in the puddles if soap. I realized how hungry I was and despite all eyes being on me I walked to the snack isle and bought a big ol box of Twinkies. Today was definitely unexpected.