silence (rainbow six siege x male reader)

chapter 8

We make war that we may live in peace~Aristotie

I awake with Monika in my arms. I didn't want to wake her up so I grabbed my phone and play some music. I wait about twenty minutes until Monika woke up.

Monika: morning

I just take out my head phones and put the on the night stand. She gave me a kiss then got up. She changed and went to talk to harry. I took a shower and changed into normal clothes. I exit the room and head to the cafeteria. When I entered there where alot of people there but no conversations. I get my food and sit down by myself.

Oliver: hey silent boy, no friends, I can see why

Is this how he is trying to make me mad. If it is it isn't working. He must have seen I didn't care so he tried to hit me but a guy with a Canadian flag on his shoulder caught the guys first

Sèb: don't even start Oliver

Oliver: why not

Séb: just don't

Oliver: for now

I finish up my food and head back to the dorm.

Intercom: could we have all opperators to the cafeteria please

Monika: what's going on now

I walk with her to the cafeteria. When we enter there's a view of my body cam from the last mission. All the other operators soon showed up worried and questioning what's going.

Harry: we have suffered more losses

Zofia was the first to speak up.

Zofia: this all started happening when the scum arrived

Harry: this wassnt his fault, watch this

The video started playing. I stood up and tried to walk out but Monika grabbed my arm and sat me back down. I watched them all die a second time.

Harry: as you could see it wassnt his fault

I walk out of the room and sit down. I could have helped them. Now ela, fuze, blitz, smoke, glaz, and jäger are dead. God I'm a failular.this all started happening when I helped. I think on this for what felt like hoirs till monika handed me a cup of water and sat next to me

Monika: you ok

I shake my head no. How could anyone be ok in this situation. Lord I know I haven't be no saint but tell me what I did to deserve this pain.

Monika: it's not your fault ok

Yes it is babe what do you not get. Ah she can't even hear what I'm thinking anyways.

Monika: what could take this off your mind

Nothing at all. I'm going to eat them out now. I stand up and walk to Harry's office.

Harry: what brings you here

I grab a map of the wall and make every white mask base in the UK, USA, germany, and Russia

Harry: how do you want to handle this

I write bomb on a piece of paper and leave. I get back to the dorm and think of how I could live with this pain of being the reason there dead. I guess there in a better place now. I don't know why I said that. Parents tell there kids that to make the calm down. Monika must have noticed my stress because next thing I knew we where on the bed kissing. I cut that shit off before it went any further because I think the writer doesn't like writing lemons and doesn't want to ask DrugAddictBandit to do one for him again. What the hell did I just break the fourth wall? I guess I did. I don't know what I'm thinking but you know what, how are you readers. What. I think I'm losing my mind right now. Umm I think I just need to sleep for now. I take a shower and change into my night wear.

Monika: going to sleep already

I nod yes and fall to sleep pretty quickly.