Tangled In Honeysuckles

Healing

I'm sitting with the sun setting behind me
My too torn jeans are sinking deeper into the grass that they sit upon
And for perhaps the first time in a thousand years
I know that this light is settling into its rightful place within me.
That hole you left burning through the walls of my bedroom
Kitchen
Atrium
Is not the smoldering smoky mess you intended to leave behind.
And although the silence of your absence haunted my walk home and stuck like sap between the cracks in the sidewalk long enough for the sun to rise a hundred times
I realize now it was just long enough to purge the sweet stubborn scum that you and I would swallow together in ritual every night of that past life I so thankfully have left behind.
I'm so nearly clean
I haven't dreamt of you in weeks
You're bitter abandonment left my soul sweeter than when you found me and I've grown so much more beautiful since you left me.
I was a fool to believe that pouring so much of me into you wouldn't leave me so empty
In the end
You weren't a friend
You were a drain
And you convinced me that what I had to give
Was in its rightful place among the spoilt drudge that rots inside your well.
But I've been refilled.
And though I needed two moons rest
I am reborn as my own
With the lesson learned that I must fill myself before I take the chance of pouring into another
I don't feel so lonely anymore
Because you taught me
that if all I have is myself
I might as well rejoice that im me
And I will bloom so strong that even when I am cut down and pruned I will carry a fragrance even you cannot resist
And Kings and queens and gypsies and thieves with come from far and wide to catch a whiff of my striking scent
yet I will never turn as dull as I was when it was you alone that indulged in my perfume
So I today can stand tall before you
No longer in your shadow
And thank you
Truly.
All insincerity, anger, resentment, and cruel intentions long since past
For you taught me this great wisdom that grows only from the deepest hurt
I hope that some of these seeds have rooted themselves in you as well
So here's to wisdom and regret
Let us depart with mutual forgiveness and fond memories of a lifetime shared
Let this final departure be preserved in sweet sorrow.