Super Vanilla Shoujo Story

Chapter 1b

RING RING

Ugh fuck me, it's ONLY lunch time. My first day of high school and I'm already sick of it. The slight pain in my stomach isn't helping my cause either. I have no idea how I'm going to talk to people in this state. I can see the blatant cliques forming in the classroom as everyone scrambles to avoid the honorary title of Class Loser. Cradling my head, I turned to my left to see a group of classmates socializing loudly.

"Ehe, I totally forgot my lunch! Oopsies!", exclaimed my classmate, Osaki Hosuzu with her tongue slightly sticking out. Strangely, it seemed like Osaki-san was sparkling profoundly as she says this. Her new friends responded by jesting with frivolous quips and suggesting to visit the convenience store for lunch. The group makes their way to the classroom door in the back slowly as Osaki-san gets acquainted with every classmate along the path. She stops shortly to play catch with a baseball she borrowed from the guy who sits near the door.

Damn, this bitch is really extra isn't she?, I thought to myself. Well, there's nothing wrong with that. To each their own, I guess...

I clutched myself and grimaced slightly as my stomach lurched with pain. Fuck damn it, why is this happening to me especially at a time like this? What part of my breakfast caused me to get a stomachache? I even considered myself to have an iron stomach! Then it hit me.

WHACK!

I face-planted my desk as I felt an impact on the back of my head. Thank goodness I was seated or else I would've toppled over in this state.

"Oh no! Sorry about that...err, what's your name again?", said a cutesy, feminine voice.

"Taniguchi...Taniguchi Haruka...", I sputtered weakly. I peered over my bangs to see Osaki-san smiling brightly. Looking closely at her, I can see why she's already so popular. Arriving fashionably late to the entrance ceremony this morning has already garnered her positive buzz around school, much to my surprise. Silky black hair, unblemished fair skin, big eyes with long eyelashes and a long swan neck, Osaki Hosuzu is a conventional beauty. Aside from her physical features, she's also a pretty nice girl. I can't seem to hate her for some reason. The sincerity leaking from her apology makes me feel bad just for being in the same room as her. Well, aside from the glares her group of friends was giving me while waiting impatiently from the hallway but that's not the point.

Posing with a peace sign near her cheek, Osaki-san introduced herself enthusiastically. Her introduction went on for ages but I didn't bother to interrupt her monologue unlike her friends outside the classroom. I tuned out for a bit as she talked about her favorite kinds of buttered toast. Suddenly, her demeanor changed as she snapped back to reality. Osaki-san shot me a worried look and said, "Taniguchi-san, you don't look so well. Maybe you should go to the nurse's office. Do you need me to accompany you?" I groaned with pain as I declined her offer. I managed to excuse myself by saying, "No need for that. It's probably just something I ate this morning..." On that note, I took my leave and staggered past her clique to the girl's restroom.

Holy fucking shit balls on a stick am I in a world of pain right now. I swear it's my father's pan-fried salmon that's the root of all this trouble. Him and his preference of raw, "fresh" food is going to be the death of me. I vaguely recall my father telling me it's okay if the salmon fillet isn't fully cooked since we eat sushi all the time. Sushi my fucking ass! What part of pan-fried salmon correlates to sushi besides the possible ingredient components?

My imaginary argument with my father was cut short as my intestines screamed for comfort. I clambered into a bathroom stall and unleashed the fury that was hidden in me. Thank goodness there's no one in the restroom right now. I'd be so embarrassed otherwise. "Never ever EVER again", I muttered quietly to myself, covered in sweat. 

I flushed the toilet and a blinding flash of light immediately incapacitated me from within the toilet bowl. A line of expletives shot out of my mouth like a Tommy gun going off during the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre. However, my cussing was drowned out by the toilet bowl's vacuum-like pull as it sucked me in. I swiftly lost consciousness as I felt the pressure of the toilet bowl's atmosphere siphon the air out of my lungs. The world around me slowly turned black as it got harder and harder to keep my eyelids open...