James and I have been talking an awful lot lately. We spend almost every night texting each other and or having deep conversations on call, like spending the whole day together at school isn't enough. Its like I never get bored of him. I've learnt so much more about James in this time and he's even more wonderful than I thought he was. Every part of him has me yearning for more. Under that bad boy act he puts on there is a naive boy in there. One who is adorable. One with a pure heart. One made of gold. James parkerson is someone I know, I'll never forget
"Hey there beautiful " James walks up to me with a smug look on his face as he leans in for a very comfortable hug. "Hi jamie" I say breathing into his shoulder. We both pull away smiling toothily at each other and walk towards class talking about the homework we both didn't do.
"Oh look who's here, the new couple in town!" Charles says as he gives James a fist pump. "We're just friends Charles." I say looking at the two boys in front of me. I see Jamie's face fall for a split second but he covers it up with a small smile. Well it's not likes he's asked me out or anything so why should it matter to him if I say that we're just friends? Right then the bell rings and we all rush into class to take our seats before the professor enters. I'm sitting next to James just like I've been doing ever since we started to get close but todays he's all distant. His eyes are glued to the board and he isn't even looking at me when usually he won't stop starring until I have to playfully hit his arm telling him to stop. I tug at the hem of his sleeve and he turns his head towards me with furrowed eyebrows as if he's asking me what I want. "Why are you so quiet today?" I ask "I just want to pay attention to what mister mike is saying" he says. Now every single person who has ever sat with James in class knows that the last thing he wants to do is pay attention to what mister mike is saying. He despises the man. It's clear that something is up but I let it slide giving him his space for the rest of the period. I let mister sensitive pants cool down at his own pace.
After class James swings his backpack over his shoulder and walks out of the classroom without giving me a single glance. I quickly gather my things and throw them into my bag hastily. I just feel extremely confused right now, what did I do? I run out of class simultaneously dodging the various people standing like obstacles between the two of us. I can't stand even the thought of loosing him, it would break me. I had to figure out what was bothering him.
I hurriedly walk upto James after finally catching up with him. Damn those long legs can walk fast. I tug at the hem of his t shirt sleeve like I always do and he immediately turns around. His eyebrows knit together and his lips twitched into a frown. God alone knows how he manages to look so good in every situation. " why are you acting like this? Why won't you just talk to me!" I say in between breaths because of all the running. I'm looking up at him rubbing the back of his neck as he says," Emma I love you, I always have and always will. For a short period of time I was delusional enough to think you had started to feel for me too. But, when you told Charles that we're only friends it was like the world was coming at me to rub reality in my face. It breaks my heart but I can't do this anymore. The more time I spend with you the deeper I'm going to fall." He says truthfully. I stand there dumbfounded. What the actual hell just happened? I didn't know if I should rejoice with glory or slap him across his face for being so stupid. Is he blind? What in the world makes him feel like I don't feel the same way about him? Right now all I want to do it wrap my arms around him and scream into his ears," I LOVE YOU TOO!" But somehow, something is stopping me from doing that. Its like right now, in this moment I'm robbed of all my vocabulary and all I can do is stand there like a lifeless statue. I blink once, I blink twice and then whisper," Oh..." WHAT. THE. HELL. IS WRONG WITH ME?
I go onto my tippy toes and wrap my hands around his neck gently. I doubt that he'll even hug me back because I really don't deserve it but suddenly I feel his hands wrap around me tightly and he snuggles his face into the crook of my neck while he pulls me close. I could stay like this forever I know I love him. I really do. But, I'm afraid to let him in and tell him the truth. When we start to pull away I gently gently kiss his cheek. I feel like I have to show him my affection is some way. Not only does he deserve it but I also do it for myself. I WANT him to know. Even if it takes me a bit longer to actually say the words. Those three dangerously amazing words.
