Living in my Truth

Revelations

From: Baby Daddy🙄🦞
Happy Thanksgiving baby.

From: Baby Daddy🙄🦞
I take it you're having family time, hence why all my messages have gone unanswered, right?
Read: 4:30pm

I have been avoiding Luke for the past three days, all his texts have been ignored, all his calls have been unanswered. I just can't seem to shake the image of him kissing his wife from out of my mind. I know, I'm being stupid, that's his wife! They've been together for eight years!

I sighed in frustration as I looked around my "childhood room", granted I barely got to enjoy it after Angie and Giselle moved in. A picture of me and my mum caught my eye and I made my way towards the dresser on which it stood. I picked it up and studied it, taking in the details. I was 6 years old, I had on a red jumper with a long-sleeved stripe shirt. I was smiling at the camera, a tooth was missing, as I sat in my mum's lap. Looking at my mum now from a grownup's eye, I could see that she was not well. Her face didn't have any colour and her hair looks thin. My eyes shifted down to the bump on her stomach area and that's when the waterworks started.

I was going to be a big sister. I was so excited when my mom had told me about my baby brother growing inside of her belly. I'd spent every moment rubbing it and telling him how much fun we were going to have.

I called him Pea.

I never got to meet him though. Turns out my mom had Breast Cancer, but the doctors found it when it was too late. My dad always told me she fought with all she had to keep my brother alive for me. However, battling stage four cancer and pregnancy proved too much for her body.

Even to the end, she was willing to sacrifice herself for Pea, she delivered him two months before her due date, at seven months. He was only two pounds, my dad got to hold him before his tiny body gave out. Turns out he wasn't getting enough nutrients due to my mom's body working overtime to fight the disease and house him as well. My mom died the following morning on August 10th. I never got to say goodbye to either of them.

My tears splashed onto the glass of the picture frame as I stood unmoving from my post at the dresser. I felt all alone. In that moment I cried because I needed my mum. Growing up I'd feel the occasional sadness, but now it's like all those years that I had to live without her came tumbling down on top me. I stood by the dresser and I wept.

I was woken up by knocking. Looking around I realized I fell asleep on the floor. I was bit disoriented but the knocking continued so I dragged myself up to go see who it was. I peaked through the crack to see Gianna standing there with a worried look on her face.

"Hey Gee, what's up?" I asked her.

"Let me in, it's getting crowdy out here." She responded while pushing the door open wider so she could pass through. We both went and sat on my bed just as my phone beeped with a message notification. I grabbed my phone and was shocked at what I saw.

5 missed calls from Baby Daddy🙄🦞
10 text messages from Baby Daddy🙄🦞

I opened the thread to see what was up Luke's ass to cause him to be blowing up my phone.

From: Baby Daddy🙄🦞
I just want to talk babe.

From: Baby Daddy🙄🦞
Like I miss you so much right now, it physically hurts.