I wrote this a while ago. So yeah....
you would have never guessed where she has been
that girl you see in the hallway who stands small and unseen
you almost wouldn't guess something is wrong
you can't tell at all when she laughs or sings her song
but underneath her always long sleeves
bracelets and watches are not what you see
white scars long and thick are what cover her wrists
the pinker ones the newest of slits.
they have built up over a period of time
with each drop of blood a reminder of of her climb
up the hill called Recovery that never seems to end
Never quite living up to the message she sends
She wants people to believe her lies
people to believe her when she tells them "I'm fine"
But that is harder at night when the memories come
hitting her like bricks that come by the ton
she wishes that she could go and redo that night
and never go back, or put on a better fight
but for her that genie in a bottle won't come
won't come and and give her her wish just like that said and done
she thought that what happened that night was deserved
but really was only just a dangerous curve
in the road of life we must all drive
no matter how broken you are, beaten and deprived
"a drowning man can't save himself" is a saying once said
"No" she replies "but can learn to swim before he is dead"
and swimming is exactly what she has done
learning to stay afloat at the point of a gun
behind the trigger is an expectant world
who don't want to deal with the stories untold.
One night she comes home and realizes what she's done
She dresses in nice clothes and ties her hair in a bun
she heads to the basement and finds her dads gun
then heads outside to see the sun
She looks around at the world around
and thinks of her family, her friends, the town
then memories come back of all the pain she has caused
with fluid motions quick, without pause
loads the gun with the hands of death.
She shuts her eyes and holds her breath
and as she pulls the trigger she hears a scream
and realizes it possesses her own name
her hand moves and the bullet goes astray
she falls to the ground but she will live another day
her mother stands by her car motionless like clay
but then runs to her daughter guilty and distraught
to the hospital down the road was where the girl was brought
locked in a room no bigger than a shed
she was safe, alone wishing she was dead
she tore at her sheets until they were shreds
and made a noose that was hung over her head
she looked one last time at the dull gray walls
waiting for a nurse to come in to make her deadly fall
when the door opened she didn't even think to look
and hung herself hanging from the window hook
she died right there but not by a nurse
but by her mother who realized that things could get worse
this was the end for the girl and her life
but the emptiness tore at her mother every day and night
it tore at her friends and filled the town with freight
nobody saw it, nobody could see
that someone could hide their problems so easily
turns out later after reading her diary
she was attacked at a sleepover but her pain not priority
so she pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind
and left it up to the world to think things were fine
even though the girl ended her own life
she died not knowing her words were like a knife
a stab at her mother's heart who would move on
but her actions killed the ones around her with words not knives
so think about the ones who care about you before you take your life
because there are people out there that care
to find them though you might have to dare
but when you find them they are with you forever
and leaving you they will never
your words are not nothing they are worse than a knife
and will kill the ones who love you when you take your own life.
YOU ARE READING
The Pain We Face
PoetryPoems for the people who suffer For him and for her For the people who understand Who know their plan For people who are just having a rough night For people who see or experience the bad in life.