Dear 김태형,
As long as I wanted to love you and for you to love me, I am going to say that, I gave up. Yes I give up. I know you're confused af right now, I just wanted to say these feelings of mine to you; for the first and last time.
I may or may not be part of your life, but always remember that I loved you, I love you, and will always love you. You don't know how much I've love you. I could do anything just to show you that I really do love you more than my life, 'cause you're actually my life.
But yea, just like what I've said; I'm finally giving up, giving up on you, our so-called relationship, and my life.
You may or may not concerned right now, but don't you ever worry for me, never. 'Cause I'm doing this for me, for you. This'll make our lives, no your life, better-best.
Just remember to don't you ever feel guilty after or while reading this, 'cause nothing of this is your fault, this is clearly all my fault. I loved you and you, you just doesn't know.
I envy all of those fan girls and boys of yours, they have the courage to talk to you and I fucking don't. I've always wanted to get them rid out of your life.
You doesn't know how it hurts like fucking hell was my feelings when you're with anyone that makes you smile lovingly, 'cause I've swore that kind of smile is only for me, and me only, but I was so so wrong of that. I'm so sorry. I've felt so sorry for myself.
Flings, sluts, admirers, you have a really lot of those, and I'm the only one who is secretly admiring you, all of you, inner, outside, and every piece of you, I've love all of you that I'm willing to give all of me if it's necessary. Because that's how fucking much I love you.
Every now and then you have different girlfriends/boyfriends. I guess that you're just being all kind and let them all feel the best moment and their lives for a bit, that's why you're giving them all chances to be with you.
I'm so naive when it comes to asking someone for a date/relationship. That is why I didn't experience the bestest (this isn't even a word) moment in my life. I did experienced the best moment in my life and that is having this feeling and admiring you, secretly. But I didn't felt the bestest moment in my life, that it hurts.
B u t, I c a n n o t d o a n y t h i n g.
Me to you is like, "you're so near yet so far."
But I've thought I'm strong enough to accept that fact, forever. But I've thought wrong, 'cause just like what I've said, I given up.
So sad (or not) to say that while you're reading this, I might not be here anymore, and by the here, I mean it by here in the living world.
No no no, no guilt! I did it for the better-best okay?! And you really should know that! I love you so much that I could kill just for you to love me too.
Anygays, this is the end (or not?) of me. I wish you all the best and I love you 'til death do us part. And please love yourself, because I didn't give that love to myself, and I'm afraid you will become like me, I hope never.
And last but not the least, I've been wanting to said this to you, and guess what it is? No? Well I badly want to said this to you, I just really don't, can't, and won't, because of nothing. Weird right? Yea 'cause I'mma weird myself.
And here's what I've been wanting to said to you from the very first time I've saw you my love, "notice me."
—lovely forever yours,
전정국.
❥︵‿︵(´ ͡༎ຶ ͜ʖ ͡༎ຶ ')︵‿︵๑
THE END.
