Depression.

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Heavy.

Everything felt so heavy to Sherlock when he woke up this morning.

When Sherlock woke up in his bed, instead of his usual running around right when he wakes up or not even sleeping at all, he just laid in bed staring at the ceiling silently. And for what felt like the first time for Sherlock, he felt tired. Even just rolling over on his back made him feel exhausted.

After laying there for who knows how long, Sherlock finally decided to get up and get ready for the day. He slowly got out of bed before slowly grabbing his clothes and changing.

This type of feeling was not new to the detective.  He had felt this since he was in middle school, but it was much worse back then. He did not feel sad, but he didn't feel happy either, it was the feeling of emptiness, but at the same type this feeling of everything being too much.

Sherlock never told anybody about his state of mental health, it never came up. Only his brother and Lestrade knew about this, and that's how Sherlock wanted to keep it, he did not want to be a burden or hurt his facade he has tried to put on through the years.

Sherlock walked into the living room tiredly, barely noticing his surroundings. He fell on to the sofa before rolling onto his side and curling up on himself and then burying his head into the cushions. He closed his eyes.

He just wished something would happen, but at the same time just wishing time would stop so he could just lie here forever. He knew it would pass, it always did, but at the same time he could not stop thinking 'what if it didn't?' What if this time it would last forever. He wanted so badly to just leave, just leave everything behind and run away, he wanted to do something Goddammit! He didn't feel the need to cry, but maybe if he did he would feel better, but he could not, he could not do anything instead of lay here and wait for sleep.

And thank God it did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John woke up at about 12 p.m, Which surprised him. Usually, Sherlock would come and wake him up at some ungodly hour of the morning to go on a case, or he would be woken to the sound of Sherlock playing his violin. But today when the army doctor woke, it was silent. And that made John worry.

Don't get it wrong, John loved the quiet! But after living with the detective for a while he began to realize Sherlock would sometimes get into these moods. When he was in these moods he would either just lay around for days on end barely eating, well barely doing anything for that matter. Or sometimes he would play his violin. he would leave the flat without telling John and wouldn't be back for hours. He would also talk little, or sometimes not at all. 

John quickly got dressed before going towards the living area. He came in silently looking for Sherlock. He then spotted a pile of curly hair peeking out of the armchair of the sofa. John walked into the kitchen and decided to make some eggs and toast for him and Sherlock.

Once the food was ready, he walked into the living room carrying the two plates of eggs and toast.

He sat then plates on the table before sitting on the sofa next to Sherlock.

"Sherlock? You awake?" John asked quietly. All he got in response was a soft moan.

" You need to eat, okay?" John said soothingly while he pushed one of the plates towards his best friend.

"Not hungry," said a muffled voice.

"I haven't seen you eat in while, when was the last time you had something?"

"Monday morning"

"Jesus Sherlock it's Thursday! Eat!" John stated before picking up his food and eating.

After John ate all his food on his plate, and when Sherlock finished picking at his plate, John got up and grabbed both plates before putting them in the sink.

John then grabbed a book his was reading and sat on the sofa beside Sherlock. John realized that when Sherlock was like this it was best to not ask questions unless he starts talking first. John has also realized that it's important to still be near him.

After a while of just sitting next to his best friend and reading his book, John felt Sherlock move around and then felt something laying on his shoulder. John then moved his head to rest on the detective's curly hair. The army doctor soon began to hear soft snores coming from his flatmate, he smiled before putting his book up and sitting there with Sherlock sleeping on his shoulder before sleep finally consumed him.

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-Atlas

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