My name is Sage and I live with my best friend Fort Lauderdale, Dale for short. I have lived with her for the last ten years because my mom is a crack addict. She was always tweaking out bro, so Dale and her Mother, who only does Crystal Meth on the weekends, picked me up and took me to their trailer. Recently, we had a new neighborhood move in, which is exciting for Dale and I because we have no other friends.
"Is that bitch in a wheelchair?" Dale asks as we watch the new neighbors begin to move in.
"Think so. I wonder what's wrong with her?" I asked. We peered through the small window above the kitchen table in the living room/kitchen/bathroom area of our trailer.
"Why don't we go ask?" Dale said, then slipped on her converse. I quickly pulled a I ❤️ Rodrick shirt over my exposed titties, which aren't very big to begin with. Most people assume I am a little boy, while my best friend Dale has bobbies the size of Mount Everest. She slides into booty shorts that say Rodrick is my bitch on the ass. (Her chimmy chongas (titties) are still out.)
I then followed my fat best friend across the street and towards a salmon colored house with a white ramp out front, assumingly for the girl in the wheelchair and not her obese mother. Dale fought for me to knock on the door first, so I spit out my chewing tobacco and rapped on the door with my bloody knuckles.
I stout woman, who looked really tired and frazzled opened the door with a sickeningly sweet smile. She looked like a child predator. I grimaced and looked last her towards the bald girl in a blue dress that sat in the wheelchair. She stared back at us past her mother with wonder filled, dead eyes.
"What the fucks wrong with your daughter?" I sighed, placing my hands on my hips.
"Excuse me?" The woman growled with a thick southern accent.
"No- it's alright mommy." The girl wheeled up and accidentally ran over her mothers exposed, fat toe.
"What the hell, Gypsy!" Her mother screamed reaching down to grab her bloody, swollen toe. Her back cracked and she fell to the ground howling.
"Let's blow this joint." Gypsy slammed the door on her mother hands and it swung back open. We quickly descended the ramp and Gypsy spoke first.
"My name is Gypsy Rose Blanchard by the way." She smiled and we were forced to look at the gap in between her front two teeth.
"I'm Dale." Fort Lauderdale said, then poked me in the ass, "this is Sage."
"What eclectic name!" Gypsy took her hands off of her wheels to clap along with the sentence and accidentally wheeled over a rock and overturned.
she quickly picked herself back up and Dale and I crossed our arms and waited impatiently. We were going to be late for our daily viewing of Rodrick walking into school.
"Do you guys go to school around here? I'm supposed to go to middle school today, I even wore my bestest dress. I got fucked in this dress." Gypsy smiles at us.
I turned and looked at Dale, who shrugged and then pushed her boobs up further. Dale spoke next. "The middle school is just up this way, we can walk you if you want- o fuck I mean wheel."
"Yeah that's so nice of you!" Gypsy smiled, then looked at Dales ass. "What does Rodrick mean? Also, does that saying "Rodricks bitch" have anything to do with BDSM? My boyfriend right now, who I met over Facebook is really into that. He teaches me all about it at night when I sneak onto the computer I bought after stealing my mommy's government aid money because I'm "crippled." She says with air quotes.
She then stands up out of her chair and cracks her back. She begins to walk with us as she wheels the chair in front of us.
"One, you need to fucking dial it down, you talk way to much. Two, wait you can walk?" I ask. "Bitch?"
"Yeah- it's all a lie so my mom can get stuff for free and finesse that coin." She smiled and smoothed out the rumples on her cinderella dress.
"Oh well... as long as it's free right?" Dale answered then said, my mom sells crack, but also does it so we end up losing more than half of the profit.
"Oh that's so sad. Maybe she should go to rehab." Gypsy interrupted. Damn this bitch really doesn't shut up.
"MAYBE YLU SHOULD GO TO REHAB YOU FAT BITCH." Dale screamed, angry.
"Dale! Calm down bro- sorry Gyspsy her mother is a sore subject.
Gypsy just shrugged and then opened her goddamn mouth again. "But, you never told me- who's Rodrick?
"Rodrick is Daddy- he goes to our school and is in a band, Gyspsy you will lose your shit when you see how fucking sexy this skinny ass man is.
"Oh- but I have a boyfriend." Gypsy cowered.
"You boyfriend would probably think he's hot too. Honestly, your boyfriend sounds kinda gay." I said, then crossed my arms as our high school came into view.
"Also, Gypsy the reason we're so much bigger than the rest of the kids in because were third year freshmen. Rodrick was in our grade once, but now he's a senior and his little brother is in our grade." I explained.
"Rodrick is so smart." Dale said, dreamily.
We crossed over Bu$$y street and into the school parking lot, called the BU$$Y parking lot for student only. Gypsy got back into her chair and wheeled herself across the blacktop, almost being hit my several students mercedes in the process. I saw Dodricks van parked messily across four spaces. A frown appeared of Dale and I's faces.
"Fuck! We missed him. This is all your fucking fault you stupid crippled ass thot." Dale screamed and slapped the ground as she got down on her knees in front of the white van that had the letters, Löded Diper, across the side.
"Loaded Diper?" Gypsy asked, ignoring Dale rude comments. "My mom has those for me."
"Ew fucking gross." Dale exclaimed, then got up and said, "That's Rodricks boy band and its LÖDED DIPER." She scoffed and pushed Gypsy chair over. Gypsy grunted and picked herself back up, following us towards the side door. Before I realized what was happening Gypsy fucking wheeled over the cheese.
"Oh shit- Gypsy has the cheese touch!" I screamed, but no one was around to hear since we were three periods late for school.
"I won't tell anyone if you don't, but you better not fucking come near me." Dale said. Let's get to class.
