I Can't Take Another Disappointment (Asking Alexandria Fanfiction)

Chapter One

Some days start off like every other, they end the same way, and the same things happen from the time you wake up to the time when you go to bed. But today wasn't like that. Instead of spending all day being tortured by my terrible parents, I'll be having the time of my life at a concert. Asking Alexandria's to be exact.

They've come to my home, London, many times before but my parents have never let me go. It's only different this time because I won an extra VIP package, so I get to go to the band's signing before the show! Asking Alexandria is my favorite band, nothing in the world could compare to how much I love them and how much they've helped me. No one else gives a shit about me, not the people where I work, not my parents, none of my no-longer-friends, and I've never been in relationship with anyone so that rules that out. I probably never will have a relationship. No one could ever love me.

I can't blame them really. I'm nothing special. I have pale skin, medium-length dark brown hair with side bangs that cover my right eye, and golden brown eyes. I'm not very tall or very short. I wear band shirts and ripped jeans and boots. My left eyebrow is pierced and I have spider bites on the right side of my mouth. I have three tattoos too. I've got a winged AA symbol on the back of my hand, the lyric "we all fall down sometimes", from the song Lost It All by Black Veil Brides, written in cursive just above my collarbone, and a small black butterfly with ripped wings right near my hip.

I'm nothing special, really. Except for the scars that cover my inner arms and all over my thighs. That's the only memorable thing about me. But I would never want to be remembered for that.

Of course, no one has ever seen them. Well, except my parents. They treat me even worse because I cut myself. You’d think it’d be the opposite They don't even deserve to be called my parents, they aren't even close. My real Mum and Dad were wonderful. They were the sweetest, most generous and understanding people there ever were. But that all changed in one terrible moment. I don't like to talk about it.

After they died, I was sent to live with my rude Aunt and Uncle. They've always treated me like shit, even after what happened. It happened when I was thirteen and now I'm twenty. I'm quite surprised they haven't kicked me out. Probably because before my mother died she asked her sister (my Aunt) to take care of me until I left them. I'm positive that if she hadn't done that, I would've been kicked out the second I turned eighteen years old.

My Aunt Miranda and Uncle Joseph don't approve of one thing I do. They hate the way I dress, they hate my tattoos and piercings, they hate the music I listen to, they hate me for not going to university, they hate that I cut. Not because I'm hurting myself but because I'm a disgrace and an embarrassment to them. All their children, who by now have gone off on their own into the world, are what would be considered "perfect children." My cousin Ashley is the typical stay-at-home wife, but at least she's an incredibly sweet person. She's the only one who likes me and treats me well. My other cousin, Brian, is a very successful doctor with a pretty, and rich, wife. My aunt and uncle adore her. The final cousin is finishing university this year, at the top of her class. Compared to their own kids, I'm the worst thing that ever could've been placed under their roof.

My mom and dad always were happy with me. While they were alive I did great in school, I was relatively social, and they loved how sweetly sarcastic I was. Even though I listened to metal and wore black clothes, they always loved me.

But after they died, those As turned to Ds, my sarcasm turned hostile, I meant what I said, and I rarely opened my mouth in school. When teachers or some authority figure inquired me about it I blamed my anxiety. It wasn't completely a lie. My social anxiety makes me absolutely sick every time I step out the door of my bedroom.

It went much deeper than that. I became depressed and it just never went away. I was in shock and refused to eat. Even when I snapped out of it, I decided that I wouldn't eat. It made me so much skinnier and I loved that. I never eat more than a meal a day, and I usually get away with not eating at all or very very little. Not like anyone cares. No one sees the effects, I cover my body very well. I don't own a single pair of shorts and all of my shirts go past my waist and almost all of them have sleeves. I have plenty of bracelets to cover up my cuts if I need to. It's much worse on my thighs but all my jeans are ripped at the knees. I'm too scared to go any higher.

I dig through my drawers. To the few concerts I have been to, I've just worn a very simple outfit. A pair of pants, shoes, band shirt, and sometimes a beanie or a piece of jewelry. But I feel like I can't do that now, knowing that I'll actually be meeting the band. I refuse to look like a slob.

I settle on a red v-neck tank top. It doesn't go that low which is good because I do not want my breasts hanging out. It shows my very defined collarbones and the tattoo I have there. I like that. I slip on a pair of black skinny jeans, torn at the knees. These ones I ripped myself. I lace up my favorite pair of combat boots, which look pretty kick-ass if I do say so myself. Looking in the mirror, I still think I look ugly. I put on a lace choker and the silver wedding ring that used to be my mother's. I stare at it, knowing it's the only piece I have left of her. It looked much prettier on her ring finger than it does on my middle finger.

I straighten, tease, and spray the shit out of my hair. It's gotta look good when I meet the boys. I put on basic eyeliner, line on my top lid, line on my bottom lid, and my waterlines of course. That's the one good thing about me, I've had so much time alone that I've gotten really good at hair and makeup. It sounds kinda sad now that I'm saying it out loud. The mirror still screams how ugly I am. I want to cry but that would ruin my makeup and I don't have that long to redo it. I grab my Asking Alexandria hoodie out of the closet and throw it on. Now my cuts are invisible.

Nothing could possibly ruin my mood. I hum the melody of Moving On while walking down the stairs. I have my phone, my iPod, earbuds. That's all I need. Looking around, I don't see my aunt and uncle anywhere. Maybe this is my lucky day! I have never been so wrong. Standing in the kitchen is Aunt Miranda. I try not to look at her as I make a break for the door.

"Brat!"

I stop in my tracks. She's probably drunk, all the more reason to listen to her.

"C'me here."

Cautiously, I take a few steps towards her.

"Look me in the eye when I'm talking to you, you worthless bitch."

As much as it pains me, I look her in the eye.

"Are you gonna eat breakfast?"

"No ma'am."

"Good. You'retoofat." Her words slur together.

I nod, knowing it's true.

"You're a piece of shit, you know that?" She says looking directly at me. Taking a few steps closer, she continues. "I don't know why I agreed to watch over you. It's the worst decision of my life. You should be fucking grateful that I take care of you."

As much as I want to scream in her face and tell her that she is the worst person I've ever met, I don't. I can handle this.

"Look at that shirt, you little whore. You disgust me. I'd slit my wrists too if I were you."

Just when I think it's over, the worst comes.

"You deserved to watch your parents die."

I take a few steps back and once she sees that she's done her damage, she staggers off to the bathroom where I can hear her throw up. I race out the door, tears pouring down my cheeks. I get in my car and start sobbing. Opening up for the glove compartment, my hands feel around for the blade I keep in there. I slide it across my wrist and let out a sigh of relief, just like I've done a thousand times before. Maybe today won't be so different after all.

A/N

Hello everyone. Or at this point, no one really. I'm Bekka and this is my first fanfiction, so please don't hate me if it's truly terrible. If this gets fifteen reads, I'll post the next chapter. I hope you guys enjoy :)