Ace Attorney Zoo Trip

Weird Zoo Trip

WARNING: THIS MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE. The ace attorney gang decided to take a trip to the zoo after many hard fought cases. But compared to this trip some of those cases seem routine. After entering the zoo Phoenix grabs a free zoo map and looks it over then all of a sudden Phoenix and Apollo heard a "thud. BOOM! Followed by a loud scream. Phoenix said "What the heck happened?" Apollo then said "it looks like Athena was practicing her moonwalking when she bumped into a soda machine but she thought it was some creep trying to cop a feel so she kicked the machine and a random can of soda went flying out and hit a guy in his jewels." Phoenix said in response "......aw crap" Athena then appeared and said " okay lets get moving" . Phoenix replied " what about the guy who took a soda can in the nuts?"  "Oh he is just a minor background  character so no one cares about him" Athena replied. The three nodded in agreement and then left the entrance way to explore the zoo while the random guy was left to tend to his damaged goods all on his own because apparently no one cared enough to help him, after all he is just a minor background character. Their first stop was "Big Cat Topia" Maya was there looking at the lions. She ran off before everybody else because she "really wanted to see the kitties". Phoenix said "Maya! Don't get too close to the edge!" WHAT?!" Said Maya as she leaned in more and more and then started to fall in. "OH CRAP!" Phoenix yelled as he rushed in to save her. He then saved her in the nick of time before she fell in but Phoenix got so close to the edge a lion jumped up and bit him on the butt. The lions bite pulled off his pants.  Apollo then yelled "HOLY CRAP MR. WRIGHT JUST LOST HIS PANTS!"  Thanks for letting the whole world know Apollo" As Phoenix then gave Apollo a retaliatory wedgie. Athena then presented Phoenix with a new pair of pants "Here you go Mr. monkey boxers!" she  says while laughing. Phoenix then asks "where did you get these or do I not want to know?"  "I took them from the nameless background guy who got hit in the nads earlier. He left them on the ground while trying to ice himself down there" No one questioned this and they moved on. A zoo keeper then walked up to Phoenix and said "sir since we now all know about your monkey underwear that makes you qualify as a monkey so we now have to put you in the monkey enclosure." Maya then blurted out laughing "HA! HA! NICK! YOU HAVE TO BE A MONKEY NOW!" Apollo then banged his head on a zoo sign because he could not take the stupidity. Athena had since left to jump into the cheetah enclosure and started racing the cheetahs. There were no attempts made by anyone to stop her. After the zoo keeper put Phoenix in the monkey enclosure he then threw random monkey poop at the zoo keeper and then left the enclosure because the keeper forgot to lock the door. The monkeys then followed Phoenix out of the enclosure and then left the zoo to start a mafia. Phoenix then looked around and wondered " where did everybody go?"  Athena had since started a Zebra racing league and had the zebras race each other Kentucky Derby Style. Apollo was thrown in the wolf enclosure as the zoo ran out of food to feed the wolves. Instead of eating him, the wolves then accepted Apollo as one of there own and let him join there pack. He decided to live with the wolves because he could not take the others crap any longer and no one objected because this is the weirdest zoo ever. Maya had her face pressed up against the Panda exhibit and was going "OMGPANDASOMGPANDASOMGPANDASOMGPANDAS" Phoenix then decided to go live with the porcupines to be one with his own kind. Athena had made so much money with her zebra races that she bought the zoo and renamed it "The Thisisminenowsogoaway Zoo" . Maya then Initiated a hostile take over of the newly founded monkey mafia and then used all of there money to buy burgers. So our day at the zoo ended with Phoenix living with the porcupines and being among the spikiest. Apollo living with the wolves and getting beat up by the alphas and the Betas because he was an Omega. Athena owning the Zebra racing empire and now owning the zoo. And Maya owning the Monkey Mafia that she then drove into bankruptcy with her burger obsession. Also Miles Edgeworth who drove them all there and waiting for them in the parking lot because he was not allowed in because the zoo had a strict no frills policy then got tired of waiting for everyone and then left the zoo to join the Circus. ......Also the judge shaved his beard off got a tattoo of a wombat and changed his name to Steve. THE END.