In a Heartbeat || Cindy Moon [1] [ON HOLD]

four: the feeling of being truly alone

The weeks following the accident were absolute hell for me. During everything that was going on, I was alone, and I was scared. In fact, the Monday following the accident, I even went so far as to skip decathlon practice, which was extremely unusual for someone like me. I locked myself in a bathroom stall and ate lunch by myself. I didn't speak to any of friends all day. It was as if I was watching my whole world fall beneath my feet in slow motion. I didn't know what else to do besides isolate myself.

The day after, I decided to give decathlon practice a try. However, it was almost as if it were worse showing up over skipping practice again. Left and right, I was bombarded with questions from almost every single one of my teammates.

As soon as I made my way into the large, bright auditorium, everyone turned and made direct eye contact at me. I pursed my lips into an awkward, forced smile and gave and awkward wave.

"Nice of you to show up, Cindy." Mr. Harrington noted, setting his laptop up on the small table set up just before the stage.

"I'm sorry, I meant to send you an email or something, um..." I started quickly, making my way over to his table.

"Something just, uh, came up, at home, and - "

"It's alright. Go ahead and join everyone else." Mr. Harrington interrupted with a friendly smile, motioning to the three tables set up on the stage, where most of my teammates sat.

"Cindy, where were you yesterday?" Abe had asked, seating himself next to Liz and Betty, who sent a confused glance my way. Betty wouldn't make eye contact with me.

"Yeah, you never skip practice," Liz remarked.

"We were all kinda worried. Well, not worried, confused, mostly." Jason added, plopping his backpack down onto the gym floor. My heart started to pick up its pace nervously as I made my way up onto the stage to take a seat next to Peter and Ned. My mind raced as I tried to think of an answer.

"Nothing to be worried about, something just came up, that's all." I muttered.

I exchanged smiles with Ned and Peter before pulling my binder out of my backpack and leaning back in my seat. I enjoyed being around the two, especially Ned. They were nice and they were quiet, they didn't ask me questions all the time and Ned made me laugh. Peter was always quiet, and he seemed to just...listen. Kind of unnerving yet comforting at the same time.

During the entire duration of practice, I was shaking. My legs were bobbing up and down and my hands trembled, I picked at my nails with my teeth and anxiously twirled my pencil rapidly in my fingers. I was scared, anxious that something would happen. That my webs would suddenly burst from my fingertips. That I would break something. God only knows. I was scared, and even as I sat amongst all of my teammates, I felt alone.

I was so focused on all of it that I didn't even take a moment to notice Betty refusing to look at me, And when I wasn't looking, she would give me one of her concerned side glances. Out of the corner of my eyes I would catch it, but none of it registered. All of it blew right over my head.

Thankfully, decathlon practice arrived at its end and I stormed out of the place as quickly as possible, ignoring Betty's soft voice calling my name followed by her warm hand set on my shoulder. Rude, I know, but I had to get home.

And I did, I practically raced home and tore through my house - gently - and raced up to my room. My stomps up the stairs left my mother quite suspicious, or, well, concerned, I'm not sure in all honesty.

"Cindy?" Her voice echoed from outside my bedroom door. I flew to my feet and stormed over to lock the door and lingered there, resting my head against the wood.

"Um...yeah?"

"Everything alright?" She asked.

"Yes - everything's fine."

"Okay...dinner's ready, how about you join us downstairs?" It was more of an order than a question.

"Actually, can I, um, eat in here? I just have a ton of homework and - "

My mother's tone was warning. "Cindy, come downstairs. You know the rules."

"Mom, really, I have a ton of homework - "

"Cindy Moon."

"Mom, seriously, please." I begged, wanting more than anything to be alone and away from everyone. She grew silent.

"Just this once. I really do have a ton of homework and I just want to be left alone right now." Right as the words tumbled out of my mouth, I knew it was the wrong thing to say.

"What?"

"I mean - "

"Why do you want to be alone? Are you okay? Did something happen at school? Or at decathlon practice? Was it Betty? Was - "

"Mom, stop!" I snapped, and instantly regretted it. It was quiet again.

"Excuse me?"

I took a deep breath. "It wasn't Betty. It wasn't anything that happened at school, or at decathlon. I really just want to be alone, that's all."

Again, silence.

"I'm sorry - " By then, it was too late. I heard her footsteps stomping back down the stairs, and I knew I had screwed up.

•••

Sehwyafqvb Cindy and her mother's relationship is so confusing, I'm trying to develop it that way lmao, in this story she's not supposed to have a very good relationship with her mother, and I'm trying to show both sides if that makes sense?? Yeah ok lmao

Anyways, thank you all so much for reading and please feel free to let me know if you find any grammar/spelling mistakes! Have a wonderful day!