It all started with a call...
"Hello? Who's this?" Napakunot ako ng noo nang natagalan bago sumagot 'yong caller.
"H-Hello, Mariela? Si Christine 'to. Tanong ko lang sana if makakapunta ka sa, uhm, practice?" Napakunot ako ng noo at pilit inalala kung sino ang kilala kong Christine. Agad ko namang napagtanto na isa pala ito sa mga bago kong kaklase.
"Yeah. I'm on my way." Hindi ko na ito hinintay na sumagot at pinutol na ang tawag. Malalim akong napabuntong-hininga.
"Damn, this is going to be a tiring day."
A group activity made us closer...
"Ano nga kasing meron sa inyo ni Christine, Don?" Nanunuksong tanong ko sa kaniya.
Sumimangot naman ito. "Magtigil ka nga. Mabuti pa mag-focus ka nalang sa presentation. Ikaw pa naman 'yong star of the night." Now, it's his time to tease me.
"Lul." That was all I could say at ininda na ang panginginit ng aking pisngi. Damn this!
Until we treated each other best of friends... Or that's what I thought.
I always treated him special. I had boy friends before, but he's different. I treat our bond as the best friendship I've ever had.
Kapag papasok, magkasabay kami. Sa classroom, magkatabi kami. Recess, sabay kaming pumunta sa canteen. At hanggang sa uwian, magkasama pa rin kami.
Funny, right? That after one activity, we immediately clicked.
It was pure friendship for the both of us. Sa kanya ko nilalabas lahat ng hinaing ko sa crush kong manhid. At ishe-share niya naman 'yong tungkol sa ex niyang hindi pa siya nakaka pag-move on.
I was so happy beside him. It's like I found a friend, companion, soulmate. We perfectly compliment each other. Ako, mapanakit. Siya, mataas ang pasensya. Ako, isip-bata. Siya naman, matured mag-isip. I'm comfortable with him, and so is he. Kaya nga normal nalang sa'min 'yong sumandal ako sa balikat niya at pinapatong niya naman ang ulo niya sa akin.
Kaya nga hindi talaga maiiwasan 'yong matukso kami. Halos lahat ng kaklase namin, ang akala mag-jowa kami. Tinatanggi ko naman kasi alam kong may nasasaktan nang patago.
Pero ang pinagtataka ko, he always stayed silent. He never reacted, denied, protested to people's assumptions. Which made me confused... with my feelings.
At hindi ko nalang namalayan, I was slowly falling for him.
With his pointed nose, na unang nakakuha ng atensyon ko. His pouty lips na ang cute kapag ngumunguso siya. His tallness na nakaka-insecure minsan. His sweetness, kindness and patience for you. Man, he's a total package! Dagdag mo pang magaling mag-basketball.
See? Why wouldn't you fall with that dude?
Lahat ng kahinaan ko sa isang lalake, nasa kanya. I know, he's a walking danger sign. But I can't help to be drawn by his flame.
I even forgot that in one move, everything might change. May masasaktan, may mawawala.
It was over. I already fell for him. I don't know how to get up anymore. And realization hit me hard, I totally messed up.
Because of me, the pieces scattered. Nagulo pa ang magulo nang set-up namin.
At ang naiisip ko lang na solusyon ay ang tumakbo. Escape from this trouble I made, and let them settle it by themselves.
Because I know by that time, it won't happen. The idea of "us" won't work.
Because all this time, it has been one-sided.
I fooled myself with these crazy fantasies.
That maybe, just maybe, he truly cared for me.
That he sees me as a special person in his life.
That he loves me, the way I love him.
Pero sino bang niloloko ko? I was just a mere extra in their love story. May sila na, bago pa dumating ang ako. I was the antagonist of their happily ever after.
It was impossible for him to feel the same way, or was it?
Kailan ba ako malilinawan?
Kailan masasagot ang lahat ng katanungan?
And most importantly, when will this complicated situation be settled?
Kasi hindi ko na alam kung makakaya ko pa bang tumakas mula rito, at alam kong hindi na rin ako makakatakbo palayo.
I got to solve the pieces, in order for us to heal our wounds.
