Unworthy Of Love (BXB)

43. The Reunion

I pull up the handbrake and turn the engine off. Then I just sit there for a while, looking at the white piles of snow along the familiar road and the holiday decorations on the houses, listening to Raven's soft breathing next to me. Even though I didn't want him to take that morning shift in Bella Bueno, I do appreciate that it has rendered him tired enough to have fallen asleep in the car, saving me two hours of his inquiries of where we're going.

If he knew, he wouldn't have come.

"Raven," I say quietly. "Wake up. We're there."

He winces and stirs, then rubs his face before looking out of the window. He freezes with his hands still on his cheeks, then turns to me.

"Surprise!" I say. "Now get out."

His left hand shoots out and grabs me by the sleeve.

"Are you kidding me?" he hisses. "I'm not going there! Why haven't you told me?"

"You could have guessed," I say. "It's a family holiday. You didn't expect me to not visit Catherine?"

"Yes, but why drag me with you?"

"You'll have to face her sooner or later, so let's make it now. Get out and don't forget the wine."

He just stares at me with a look of complete disbelief. I open my door and get out, then walk around the car, buttoning my coat. By the time I get to the sidewalk, he's out, too, his face still wearing that lost expression.

"I hate you," he mutters, slamming his door shut. "This is going to be so bad."

"It'll be fine," I say, and start walking towards the house. "We need to get it over with."

We approach the house in silence, the snow crunching under our feet. As we ascend the stairs, he pushes the paper bag with the wine bottle into my hands.

"Why, you carry it," I say.

"Nope. I'll need both hands to fight her off as she tries to scratch my eyes out."

"Come on, she's not like that," I say, although his confidence that the impending encounter with Catherine will go wrong is beginning to rub on me. She's a good person, but Raven's actions had hurt her deeply. Even with all the time that has passed, could she find it in herself to let the hard feelings go?

We stop by the door, brushing the snow off, and I press the doorbell.

"I can't believe she has agreed to see me at all," he says, stomping his feet to get rid of the remainders of snow.

"She hasn't," I say. "I only told her I'm bringing my roommate. Which is, technically, correct," I add, hysterical laughter fighting in me with the rising panic as Raven turns to look at me with round eyes. "It's not like I lied or anything."

"You mean she doesn't know it's me? You idiot. You fucking idiot."

"Don't curse, Raven," is all I have time to say before the door opens.

Catherine stands in the doorway, wearing her green and red knitted holiday dress, her hair gathered in a bun. The welcoming smile freezes on her face as her eyes shift from me to Raven. We just stand there like a group sculpture, and it begins to dawn on me that maybe I should have thought this through better.

Raven is the first to break the silence.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know I was coming here," he blurts out. "I didn't know you didn't know, he hasn't told me." He's speaking fast, as if trying to get everything said before the scratching out of eyes begins. "He's a jerk for not telling you, I mean, I love him anyway, but he's such an idiot sometimes, isn't he?"

The 'love him' part breaks through the general feeling of confusion, and I glance at him, surprised. He's never said that before. He seems unaware he said it now, staring at Catherine, his cheeks pink from the cold, his eyes glistening, probably from the cold as well.

She looks at him blankly, a vertical line beginning to form between her eyebrows.

"I'm sorry about the before, too," he adds. "I was just such a mess. I never meant to hurt him, or you, or... I'm just so sorry."

She blinks a couple of times as if waking up and shifts her gaze to me.

"A roommate, huh?" she says.

"Yeah," I say, chills running up and down my spine despite my warm clothes. "He's my roommate. Also, we're a couple." That probably requires some clarification. "Also, I'm gay."

Her eyebrows go gradually up with every word, and they stay there as she glances from me to Raven with utter confusion.

"Wow," she says at last. "Looks like I have some catching up to do." She sighs and rubs her forehead. "At least now I know why you were so evasive when talking about who you live with." She shakes her head and steps back, opening the door wider. "Let's take this inside."

We follow her in, automatically stomping our feet to get rid of the non-existing snow. I close the door behind us and lean to whisper into Raven's ear as he's unbuttoning his coat.

"So, you say you love me?"

"I said nothing of the kind," he mutters, unwrapping his scarf.

"I heard it," I say.

"No, you haven't."

"Actually, I heard it, too," says Catherine.

I look up, and she's smiling, that soft, kind smile of hers that I have missed so much. I glance at Raven and see his lips stretch into a hopeful, wary grin of his own, and then the three of us just stand there, smiling at each other, reveling in the feeling of everything in our lives just finally clicking into place.

       T H E      E N D        

*** READ ON FOR AN AFTERWORD :)