Crystal Snow

1

LS

When I was young I'm one of those lucky kids who has a good parents and we're the epitome of a perfect family but life isn't always on your side. We're gradually falling apart. My parents were falling out love and that's the start of my imperfect life and I'm getting tired of it.

One week living with my mom then a week with my dad. That was my everyday routine. Having dinner with their respective family, yes they both have another family and I was the outsider trying to fit in but hell I would do that.

My hell life would soon to end. No, I'm not going to end my life just because of my unfortunate destiny and by the fact that I'm not suicidal. It's just I had decided to live on my own. It was funny because they both compromise for me not to live alone and they weren't agreeing to a subject matter before the reason they separated but I insisted. I dont want to live with them anymore, eighteen years was enough. Now I'm on my third year college I know I can be independent and not depend on them BUT they will still give me money for my everyday expenses, pay for my rent and for my school I actually didn't like the idea coz I felt like I have debt to them but it was their condition for them to let me live on my own so I agreed half-heartedly. To think of that's what parents do, support their children financially but not emotionally.

They both accompany me to the airport. I'm flying from Switzerland to South Korea. Yeah, its too far from them that's why they contemplated to let me do my own way. I chose SoKor coz I really wanted to know my mom's culture, she is a korean while my father is a thai but we live in Thailand since I was born until 7 years old then live in Switzerland from then til now but never in Korea, just visited the country once or twice, I really don't remember.

My mom hugged me and she cried saying that she will miss me her only girl and telling me she loves me repeatedly. Does she? I don't know anymore, my feelings were numb now. I don't know if I still have emotions. I got tired of crying every night, overthinking my lifeabout. I became stoic and cold. When she released me my dad hugged me, of course I dont expect him to cry his a guy afterall he has pride but he did tell me loves me. Does he? They both loves me but why don't they love each other so I will not move away and leave them.

I was now in my condo where my parents bought. I sat down on the bed then layed thereafter, staring on the ceiling I internally sighed, thinking of impossible things— of us turning to a whole happy family again. I already accepted it that we will be on our separate ways but it still hurts I don't want to admit it but the thought and reality is pricking my heart. A tear escaped from my eyes, laying on my stomach I sobbed hard breaking the promise that I wouldn't cry anymore.

Another day had passed. Two more days left before the school starts and I still didn't do anything that makes my days unproductive. Contemplating my life, why not do thing I didn't do before? Right, like going to a club. I was prohibited back then, well I'm my miles with my parents so they wouldn't know.

I thought clubs will help me forget my wrecked life but I'm completely wrong because its like a hell. I hate the electrifying loud music, its irritating. I rolled my eyes seeing those people having their PDA, do they know the word "privacy". I want to yell at them "get a room you fucking dirty species!". But here I am sitting in front of the bar, drinking an unknown liquid, well it does taste good nor bad. Isn't wrong to have a one shot, right? I swivel my chair, gazing through the crowd looking for a missing person even tho I dont have a company. I found a dark brown doe eyes staring at me, like reading my mind and piercing thru my soul. I didn't even flinch, we're having a staring game. One second, two seconds until ten seconds i removed my gaze when a booty girl sits on his lap. I smirked and remained unbothered. Last shot of my drink I left the annoying club. I promised myself that I will not enter to this kind of place, again.