how to attempt the perfect suicide:
step 13:
now I know I should start at the beginning, but the truth is you can never see it coming. you never realise when the "I want to die" joke turns into "I want to kill myself."
step 14:
you used to be good a writing. if you feel like writing again, DO NOT. it'll reduce the chances of a successful suicide. remember, do not express. be it on paper, or person.
step 15:
think about killing yourself all the time. but do not plan it. it won't be dramatic if you plan it. all you have to do is keep saving your antidepressants to take them all at once. get a blade. hell, take out the blade from your little sister's pink sharpener. she'll understand you needed it.
step 16:
we're almost done. you've lost enough friends. if possible, cut your own hair. cheat on your boyfriend for a guy who doesn't deserve shit. hit yourself in front of your roommate. make everyone hate you. this makes hating yourself easier.
step 17:
find a trigger. this step can be easy if you have been dealing with other chronic illnesses like frequent anxiety attacks or severe depression. cry your lungs out to make it seem real. go lock yourself in the bathroom. stare at your reflection. it also beg you to stop, I know. it will beg you to stay. DO NOT LISTEN TO IT.
step 17:
step into your room. do not, my any chance, look at your sleeping dog. he will be the only thing you still love. but do not, DO NOT let him change your mind.
step 17:
you'll probably have a panic attack by now. resist the urge to reach out for your anxiety pills. instead, pick up the toolbox your father gave you years ago. "I'm giving you this so you can fix everything."
step 17:
take the blade out. gently place it on your cheek. feel the cold.
step 17:
get up. get up. get up.
step 17:
throw the blade into the garbage bin. take a deep breath. go wash your face. apologize to your reflection. look into it's eyes, and say:
"I'm giving you this chance so you can fix everything."
