you 🍃 bae jinyoung

16

park haneul
active 36 days ago

🔓 december ten
i skipped four days :(

sadly, i had to go somewhere and i got so busy. i totally forgot to write ㅠ. anyway, it's the tenth of december! which means, it's kang daniel's birthday! daniel's twenty-two already right?

also, i almost forgot! i think im going crazy :(( i live in seoul but i actually bought a ticket for your philippine concert!

i mean—not my fault you guys are worth my money :) i just want to watch your concert again. it feels surreal and i feel fulfilled. besides, i only use up my money, time and energy for it. not like im losing anything else.

--
🌟november fourteen, twenty eighteen.
has anyone ever mentioned to you that power of destiny is definitely 'that' album? no one? okay, thanks for letting me do it. damn, if you went all out on burning charts down with your first album, to be one, now you went all out on melting hearts with your last album, power of destiny. is it even possible to have this kind of painful duality? you guys are too much for me ㅠㅠ all eleven tracks are so beautiful! i feel sad that this is the last but when i hear your songs, my heart feels warm. especially when i remember the meaning behind these songs. the album's title track, spring breeze is a song that makes you remember all the memories in a timespan of exactly three minutes and fifty-five seconds. and the album's special track, twelfth star makes you just think of all the good things in a timespan of three minutes and fifty-eight seconds. this may or may not be the last letter i'll write but i want—if ever i'll continue writing—i want the next letter i'll make only filled with happy memories. with you, wanna one.
--

to say im sad is quite an understatement. in fact, im heartbroken. only your videos, photos, songs and memories to keep with me are the things that make me smile in the middle of the night.

sometimes, i think that i may have not deserved the chance of meeting you that one time behind the stage.

i may not have deserved the chance to talk with you guys and exchange phone numbers.

i may not have deserved the chance to be with you for as long as our schedules grant us freedom.

sometimes, i think that i may not have deserved those times with you.

now, jinyoung, im wondering if you understand what this message would mean. but even if you do, i'd still say. if this is the last message i'll be able to send you, that i dont know. but there are a few things i am sure about.

bae jinyoung, i love you and i have loved you since then. i wish you only the greatest things in the world because it is what you deserve. yes, your disbandment with the group is just around the corner, but hey. isnt this the time to start a new chapter in your life?

this message, serves as a goodbye. i hope you find happiness somewhere in your world. in your world where i definitely do not belong. and so i would like to cut connections.

keep smiling, bae. you deserve to be happy.