Merome and Skylox One-Shots

Forever isn't Enough

Time. Have you ever just sat down on your bed or living room couch and thought about your life choices? Time. Have you ever made the mistake of waiting? Time. Have you ever felt so utterly sad and miserable that you just want to shout it out to the world but instead you sit down and keep quiet? Time. Have you ever wanted to speak up but you were just so afraid that you didn't? Time.

I know I have, and I regret all the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years I spent locked inside a room where all I had to say never came out. Time. I thought I had time. And I did have it, I just didn't use it like I should have. Time.

Sometimes I wonder. I wonder how things could have been different if I hadn't wasted my time living in the fears of others. Would I haven't driven myself crazy? Would I be in a sweet cozy home instead of a cold rusty madhouse? Would I have the man I loved with all my heart? Would he have not broken my heart if I did something different? Would I have changed? Would I still be me? Time.

Sometimes when I'm staring out my window, looking at the stars scattered around the sky with the moon glowing brightly with them, I like to think about my family. I like to remember the last summer we all had together before I ran away. Before my mother got sick. Before my dad started doing drugs. Before my sister died. Before all the drama happened, and when we were a loving-caring family. I'll always remember the time when I was 12, my sister was just 3 years old and my parents would always take us down to the beach to look at the sun set. I always loved watching as the sky turned into a mixture of red, blue, and purple. How the sun would go down and the moon came out shining just as bright as the last. My parents would sit down on a giant rock and hold each other close as they watched me hold my sisters hand as we walked along the shore, me being careful not to let her fall. And as the sun disappeared we all would lie down on the sand letting the water touch our toes as we watched the stars. "You see all these stars Ty?", my mom would ask me whispering it into my ear. I would nod curiously looking at the sky watching as they twinkled, ones brighter then the others. "When people die the become stars to watch over there loved ones so they don't feel alone.", she would say as she chuckled lightly watching me gasp excitingly. "Wow does that mean Grandma Emma is one of them watching over you?" My dad chuckled slightly holding my moms hand while holding my baby sister on the other. "Of course she is champ." Time.

Scars. I say every human being has them. The difference between them and me is mine are visible. Other than that we all have scars scattered throughout of body for memories of the hardships we over come. Some people are different though. It's when your scars actually show that people don't think your normal. Start calling you things like freak, crazy, mental. Suicidal. I'm not suicidal because I cut my skin. I'm not suicidal because I want to be left alone. I'm not suicidal because I want to jump of a cliff to end my life. Depression. I'm not depressed because I'm sad. I'm not depressed because I'm lonely. I'm not depressed because I want to kill myself. Crazy. I'm not crazy because I see hallucinations. I'm not crazy because I talk to myself. I'm not crazy because I hear voices in my head. I don't want to kill myself because I'm crazy, depressed, and suicidal. I don't want to kill myself. I just want to start a new life. The more you run from your past the faster it catches you. I want no past. I want no memory. I want a fresh start. If cutting my skin means I'm suicidal then I'm suicidal. If being sad means I'm depressed I'm depressed. If hearing voices in my head means I'm crazy I'm crazy. Not because I want to be. I don't have a choice in what direction my life is willing to go. It always ends up the same. Time

I was in love once. He made me feel special and that I belonged. He was there in my darkest times and he didn't leave until I was smiling again. He was the only thing keeping me from losing myself in the darkness. He was my light. My sun. His name was Adam. I remember the time when we would sneak into the music room during our history class and he would strum up a few tunes on the guitar and sing me a small melody. His voice was angelic. Sometimes I hear it every time I go to sleep. I truly fell for him, but he didn't catch me. I hit the ground so hard I lost every bit of sanity I had left. I never understood the term 'heart-break', but when you actually experience it...you understand completely. The pain I felt was worse than any punch, kick, or stab any one could ever give me. You can literally feel your heart break into millions of pieces in till there's nothing left. Over time people move on and fall in love all over again, but not everyone. He was the last sort of light I had. Last piece of food to survive. My last grip of sanity. And he left. Just one day poof! He was gone. No note, no text, no letter, no e-mail, no nothing. Of course I waited. I waited for days but days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. My friends would check up on me every now and then but I would always be locked up in my room counting down the minutes that have past by. After a year, I knew he wasn't coming back. And I mean never. That day I made the realization he had left me ,Alesia, Adam's sister, came into my door step in tears. I asked her what's wrong and if she wanted to come in but all she did was hand me something wrapped around newspaper. "He really did love you Ty don't ever forget that." Then she left. I ripped the newspaper only to reveal something so special. I still have it on me today. I remember that day as clear as any other. The day I cried myself to sleep. The day I went crazy. The day my life took a turn for the worst. Time

I never really said goodbye to him. Or my parents. Or my sister. As I look at the locked room I'm in I realize I'm empty. As I look at my hand looking at the last gift Adam gave me I realize I'm alone. I have question. When question I would die to know.

Could you have given them more time?