Sonder

4~Min yoongi

(This will be a short chapter, I do apologize.)

Honestly. I just want to sleep.

I sit and stare at the brick wall. That's all I've done for the past 10 years of my life. At this point the only thing I can think of is death. I have tried to convince myself otherwise. I need to sit and protect the only family I have left...But at this point we will die anyways. I am sick. Terribly sick. I didn't want to tell the others because I didn't want them worried but I am. I don't know what it is, at night I would throw up. And it would be blood. I can already tell my time is almost up. But...I don't want to leave my family behind.

I have suffered from so many things for years, and i don't want to suffer anymore.

That's when i made up my mind...I know what I am going to do.

Right now it is mid day I believe.  And my small pack sit and talk.

"Who stole it?!" I hear my hyung yowl.

With a flinch I look. "who stole what...we dont have anything worth stealing" I mumble.

"yeah hyung...are you ok?" The Dirty tiny omega with orange hair asked, looking at the oldest like he was crazy

But the oldest replied with a growl.

Then...the stupidest most cringe worthy thing comes out of his mouth

"whoever stole my copy of  Microsoft Office, I will find you."

We both know whats coming.

"You have my word!"

Followed by his annoying funny laugh.

...

stupid dad jokes

Though Jimin finds it funny i keep a face of stone, no sense of amusement comes from me.

"aww come on Yoonie! Its funny!" They somehow say in unison while laughing

"No. You guys just have an odd sense of humor."

"CORRECTION! YOU have NO sense of humar" The youngest of us retorts after the laughter ends.

"If that  was supposed to hurt...then you failed...miserably" I state.

Jimin huffs and looks away.

The chattering continues to keep us from thinking about this cruel worthless world. And before we know it...its dark.

"You guys need to rest." I say, laying down on the thin sheet we all share.

With no arguments they both agree, too tired to try to argue if they even wanted to.

My heart beats fast. It hurts...

"Guys..." I mumble out

"yeah...?" I hear one of them yawn.

"I...I just wanted to say that...You guys mean the world to me. Without you i would have been dead a long time ago. I am so sorry you guys have to go through this. You all deserve better. I would give you everything if I could...But i am about to cause more pain then ever before. Please, don't give up. Try to follow your dreams, don't beat yourselves over something that's not your fault. Do not convince yourselves that you are nothing...Because to me, you are everything i could have asked for. Thank you for being here with me, and thank you for sticking by my sides...please take care of yourselves...I love you all." I speak hesitantly. When I get no response I know they are asleep.

I stand up quietly, walking out of they alleyway and down the road. I walk for a long time, trying to convince myself to not do it. But i cant seem to get my body under control.

As I make it to a highway, I watch the cars pass by in speed I can barely seem to focus on. With one last thought, I finally realize what i am doing.

Turn around, go back. go back. go back. go back. go back.NOW!

I turn my head, going to walk back. But my body does something completely different.

I step forward....

This is it...I shouldn't of done it

I feel the impact of the car. Horns honking, pain spreading, weakness and drowsiness taking over...I know what I've done.

I feel so much pain...all I can think about is how stupid I am

As a tear slips...I close my eyes and i start to slip away

Im sorry...