Baby Please Remember...

CHAPTER TWENTY

*I just wanna say a massive thank you to everyone who's read both A Simple Favour, and Baby Please Remember! It means so much to me that you guys all like these books. I love writing them for you, and with this one coming to an end soon (not yet, but soon), I want to shamelessly plug a new book I'm working on with help from johndeaconenthusiast (you're amazing!!) called Just Smile! It's a Maylor book, and it should be up soon!
Also, the final ending to this book will be done soon too. It'll be a separate book, but it'll end the series. Anyways, thank you was the main part of that 😂 and I hope this chapter is better than the shitty last one 💕*

*ROGER'S POV*
"I don't know what you expect me to say Brian." I sighed, resting my head in my hands to avoid looking at my fiancé's face. We'd just left Phoebe's room, leaving Freddie and John to talk things over while Bri and I did the same in our room. I was shocked to hear John's theory on what happened last night, but I had to admit it made sense. I'd experienced hallucinations from overusing drugs before, so I couldn't really argue the facts he presented. I wanted to blame Freddie. I wanted it to he his fault, for Brian to say he came onto him, but deep down I knew he didn't. Brian's had built up feelings for Fred since they stopped fucking around years ago. I knew that too. I knew he loved him, and that he probably still felt something for him when we started dating. Maybe I was just too naive and thought he'd forget about it and fall in love with me instead. Maybe I was asking too much.

"You don't have to say anything Rog," He replied quietly. "I know I've fucked up."

"Oh, you don't fucking think?!" I snapped, moving to send him a harsh glare. "God, Brian!" I sighed again, shaking my head. "I don't understand why I keep giving you chances when I just get my heart broken every fucking time." I muttered, feeling my heart clench in my chest as I said the words out loud. It hurt so bad. It felt like he never even cared about me, about my feelings or how much I loved him. He knew how much he meant to me, how desperately in love I was. He knew I was insecure from the beginning because of what he had with Freddie too. He reassured me it was fine, that he never loved him, and of course I believed him. I believed every word that spewed from his mouth because I was too in love to think any different.

"I-I'm sorry. I know that does nothing to, to help the pain I've caused you but-" He started, his voice wavering a bit as he got emotional.

"No. No it really fucking doesn't Brian." I butted in, my own emotions running wild as I struggled to not burst into tears. "I-I don't know what to say to you. I don't, I don't know what we're supposed to do now." I sniffled, looking down at my hands to avoid his gaze.

"Do you know how all that time ago, when I uh, I had those thoughts about Freddie and I?" Brian asked awkwardly, almost testing the waters to see how I'd react to his question. I nodded, waiting for him to continue. "Well, last night, when I was close to Fred, it, my brain," He sighed, trying to find the right words. "it kind of took me back there again. To when we used to be that close all the time." He explained. I knew where he was going with his speech. He told me earlier that he'd helped Freddie calm down after he'd explained why he'd been so skiddish the last few weeks. I felt horrible for him, he didn't deserve that type of shit happening, and I was glad Bri was there to support him, but I knew how they ended up so close. Brian could never forget what he and Fred had been through, how he felt, because it was his first time experiencing it. They were each other's firsts, and of course you'll never forget that. I understand that he was bound to feel something, but I just wish he thought of me. That he stopped and thought about how much he loved me now, that he wasn't meant to be close to Freddie anymore. That I was his fiancé, I was his love.

"You could've stopped it." I mumbled, glancing up to him through teary eyes. "You could've stopped and remembered that you have someone else, and, and you shouldn't be thinking about Freddie when I was waiting for you here." I cried softly, losing my control of my tears. "I was here Brian. I was here, missing you, and you, you weren't even thinking of me!"