Madam Spellman one-shots

I can't do this anymore... (Pt2)

Lilith opens her eyes and feels dread take over her entire being, crushing every small piece hope that this was just all a bad dream, before she even has the time to think about what today will bring. The nightmare she currently finds herself in is very real; too real for her liking.

She feels an arm tightly wrapped around her middle and with a sad smile on her face she sheds a small tear. The prickling sensation of the salty fluid running down her face reminds her of the time before Zelda, the time were her life was a miserably one, the time where she was ruled over, the time where she longed for someone like Zelda in her life.

It will be the last day of waking up to this, the last day of waking up next to Zelda, the last day of being a part in her life. Another tear rolls down her sticky face. It's not the first time she has cried since Zelda fell asleep.

Zelda is still fast asleep and her body lies heavy against Lilith's, almost as if she's afraid of losing her. She holds onto her so tightly that it feels more like a way to trap the brunette than a loving embrace and it's taking her the air to breathe. Lilith has to close her eyes, desperately trying to keep the sobs in. She doesn't want to show Zelda how much this really affects her, doesn't want to show Zelda that she isn't so sure if she can make it on her own, doesn't want to show Zelda how much she truly loves her.

She has never been the person for feels and Zelda is right... She doesn't need to make it harder on them than it needs to be, so she just lays there, silent tears rolling down her face and she suffers in solitude. The thought of actually talking about this with Zelda, as comforting as that action may be, makes her stomach turn and turmoil in serious protest. As long as you pretend it's not there, you won't feel it.

Memories of the past few months flash before her eyes and beautiful reminders of times spent together make Lilith smile through her tears but then there are the fights, the wall about to crumble behind the beautiful façade and she knows that their love was doomed to fail from the beginning. They are just too different and too much alike at the same time.

Love isn't meant for her, nothing is.

She is meant to suffer and always long for the things she can't have.

She wipes away the sticky tears with one of her fingers and slowly lifts Zelda's heavy arm and slips into the cool morning night, feeling relieved to finally be able to breathe normally again. Taking the robe off the hanger, she walks towards their balcony, needing to be alone.

She should enjoy the last peaceful moments with her loved one but she just can't stand the thought of watching her go, can't stand being the reason their love failed, can't stand acknowledging that their love failed.

She needs air to breathe, suffocating from the immense pain spreading through her body like a disease that eats away at your heart until it leaves nothing but tiny shreds of what was once your full pride and joy.

She takes a deep breath, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she looks over her kingdom. It's all she ever wanted, all she ever worked for, all that brought her into this situation, all that made her lose Zelda.

"Don't be ridiculous... You still want this," the brunette mutters under her breath and feels her eyes tearing up again. She hates Zelda for making her this emotional, hates Zelda for making her this vulnerable, hates Zelda for leaving her after all they've been through, together.

She shakes her head, not wanting to think about what she'll do once she will have dropped Zelda off at the Spellman's. Torture some poor souls? Kill some innocent men? Possess some bodies?

No, there are far greater things in life.

She looks into the distance and the sun rise reminds her of the moment she entered hell for the first time since Satan's fall, hand in hand with a certain ginger beauty. Today she would return, still be the Queen of Hell, just without the ginger to reign at her side. She'll be alone, just like she has always been.