Madam Spellman one-shots

For Satan's sake!

Zelda stomps through the woods, a death grip on the basket in her hand. Her patience is getting fairly thin and she doesn't know how much complaining she can take before she snaps like the twigs underneath her feet.

"How long do we have to walk?" the annoyed voice appears from behind her, making her roll her eyes and she wills Satan to give her the strength to not snap her neck right then and there.

"Until we're there," Zelda growls through gritted teeth and pushes a particularly large twig aside, letting it snap back as soon as she has passed.

"Ouch that hurt!" Lilith complains from behind her as the twig connects with her almost bare legs.

"Well maybe someone shouldn't have worn a short dress to the woods," Zelda sighs in annoyance and looks at her watch. Only twenty minutes of their forty minute walk have passed and Lilith has been complaining ever since Zelda stopped the car.

She just loves to annoy Zelda.

"Well maybe someone should have informed me that we're going to the woods then," Lilith snaps and bats away the flies that are trying to nestle on her skin, sucking the very blood out of her veins.

"I did," Zelda whines and speeds up her steps, not wanting this torture to go on for longer than absolutely necessary.

"You told me we would go on a picnic... not this."

"That wasn't indication enough?" Zelda throws her free arm up in the air and huffs in defeat. She will never bring Lilith on a hiking trip ever again.

"My feet hurt," Lilith complains and Zelda just shakes her head, ignoring the comment.

"Why didn't you tell me to bring more comfortable shoes?"

Zelda tries to push the high pitched voice to the back of her head, not wanting to be bothered by it any more than she already is, and thinks about how beautiful their picnic will be once they arrive at their destination... if they don't kill each other first.

"How long?" Lilith asks again and Zelda has had enough.

"Just shut up," she barks and brushes fallen strands of ginger curls out of her face and back into her bun.

"Don't tell me to shut up," Lilith says and tries to keep up with the steady pace of the ginger but her heels keep slipping off her feet whenever they get stuck in the wet dirt that keeps swallowing the thin heel greedily.

"Damn these heels," she mutters under her breath and when she looks back up she sees Zelda further away than only seconds before, almost gone.

"Wait!" She yells but Zelda just keeps waltzing through the woods in a pace that's too quick for the demoness.

"Can you slow down a bit please?"

"No."

"No?"

"Can you stop complaining?"

"No."

"See. We both have to endure torture," Zelda says and doesn't even look back when a stone flies past her head.

"You're mean!" Lilith exclaims and crosses her arms in front of her chest, pouting like a child.

"No, you're being a pain in the behind," Zelda returns and Lilith just huffs, refusing to take any more insults.

The two of them keep on walking in rather uncomfortable silence and Zelda wonders why she thought that this is a good idea in the first place. She should have known that Lilith would misbehave and complain like Sabrina did when she was a toddler.

She is thankful for the small moment of peace and quiet that's spent with Lilith's mouth firmly shut but she knows the moment can only last so long before those lips start moving again.

"Why didn't we just teleport there?" she asks and Zelda has to count to ten in order to not burst in extreme fury. Calm down Zelda, she thinks. Deep breaths, she thinks.

"Because I thought we could enjoy a lovely walk through the woods together. I don't know what gave me that idea," she says and hears Lilith laugh behind her. What did she do to deserve this woman in her life? She takes a furious puff of her cigarette and tries to not lose her last nerves, willing Lilith to stay silent.

"And why don't we now? I mean we already figured out that this isn't lovely nor to either of our pleasure," Lilith suggests and Zelda is already imagining her hands around that throat, squeezing real hard. Deep breaths, count to ten, calm, Zelda thinks.

"Because we started this and now we're going to finish it," she states and quickens her footsteps even further, wanting to get there faster. She doesn't look back, doesn't see Lilith struggle and doesn't listen to the random rambling coming out of the brunette's mouth.

"For Satan's sake shut your mouth, Lilith!" Zelda yells and hears laughter erupt from behind her. Does this woman ever close her mouth, she wonders.

"And give you what you want? Never," Lilith hisses and yelps in pain as her foot slips out of her shoe and connects with the sharp stones on the ground.

"Whatever it was, you deserve it." Zelda smirks at Lilith's huff and makes sure to enchant her heel to keep sliding off her foot, needing the little satisfaction it provides.

"It's all your fault."

"Oh stop the whining. You're not some child. You're a centuries old demon for Satan's sake."

"And you're a... a little witch bitch."

"Really? That's all you came up with?"

"I hate you."

"Shut up."

Zelda enjoys the moments like this where they can tease each other without a single care for who might be too close to hear. Neither of them like showing their soft side, both having to keep up a certain reputation, so it feels even better to let their soft side out to play when they're together.

"I won't continue," Lilith whines, stops and the only thing missing is the crying to complete the full blown temper tantrum, Zelda thinks.

"Grow up. It's only ten more minutes," she says and decides to shorten their route, not being able to take any more of the complaints.

"No."

"Fine." Zelda says and walks over to the brunette, who just stares at her in confusion.

"What are you doing?" Lilith asks shocked as Zelda motions for her to jump on her back.

"I'm going to carry you if this will shut you up," she says and an excited Lilith hops onto the ginger's back.

"Yay, a piggy back ride!" she exclaims and wraps her arms around Zelda's neck, pressing her face against the ginger's maybe a bit too tightly.

"Finally, I thought you'd never come to your senses," she says and Zelda laughs.

"Someone has to babysit you and unluckily I'm the only one around."

"Hey, I am not a baby!"

"Then stop acting like you are!"

Lilith pulls at the small strands of ginger hair and sings loudly into the ear of Zelda, wanting to annoy the living heaven out of her and she succeeds.

"If you're going to act like a child, I'm going to treat you like a child. Shut the hell up, " she says and a pacifier appears in Lilith's mouth to finally make her stop talking.

Outraged, Lilith tries to spit it out but a spell holds it in place, making Zelda chuckle in satisfaction.

"Ahhh that's much better."

She sighs in relief and continues their trip with a furious Lilith on her back... a furious but quiet Lilith.