Lady & The Show Off

❤️Chapter.31❤️

I done it again, I tried to drown myself and luckily for Dolph and ...
I the people on that helicopter at that time seeing me in the canal they got me out as quick as they could and I was rushed into hospital again, I couldn't remember what happened for a split second.
I had my eyes shut and I woke up and there was Dolph, I still can't believe it was another failed attempt at suicide.
I just have to stop but I can't do it, I just can't deal with it anymore.
Dolph: "Hey there Babe, are you ok?"
Me: "I am now I guess, where is Ashlee?"
Dolph: "Don't worry Heaven and Shane are taking care of her"
Me: "At least she's in safe hands with them, anyway why am I here?"
Dolph: "You tried to to yourself Hun"
Me: "I did?"
Dolph: "Yeah and you told me it wouldn't happen again"
Me: "I knew it, I knew I was a awful fiancée"
Dolph: "No your not"
Me: "I'm a terrible Mom too"
Dolph: "No your not"
I took his word for it and he stayed with me in the hospital, he kissed my head and I'd smile, I'm happy around him.
I don't know why I want to die so young, speaking of Ashlee, Her and Shane Jr have become best friends, more like play buddies and seeing their companionship gave Shane an idea but he didn't want to tell Heaven the idea so soon, he wanted to wait until Ashlee went home.
Eventually Ashlee came home to me and Dolph, well more like 2 days later but she's ok under Heaven's care and I could always count on my best friend in situations like this one, I was a idiot doing what I did.
I just keep getting things wrong all the time but it's been months and I still haven't told him, I should've told him but after what I did I don't think now is the right time to tell him that I slept with someone else.
Me: "I'm sorry" 
Dolph: "It's ok"
Me: "No it's not"
Dolph: "It's gonna be ok"
Ashlee was asleep in her play pen and myself and Dolph just cuddle that night, he reminded me about how we don't get alone time but tomorrow I thought about leaving Ashlee with my Mom and Dad, they always wanted to have time with their 1st ever Grandchild & Granddaughter so tomorrow it will be official.
Ashlee will be going to her Grandparents house tomorrow so I can talk to Dolph about this.
I can't keep this from him for good, I know I got mad at him along time ago over something like this but that's because I thought he was lying to me but he wasn't he told me the truth all along and that was the first accident when I had the car crash, the guy on his phone left his number so I could claim but that was never my worry, my worry was to make it out alive.
The cuddles I had with him now reminds me of the happiest times of us together and I'm angry at myself for ruining this for us but let's be honest.
Dolph has sometimes blamed himself when it came to the bad stuff but I know it's not him, he knows it's not me but we keep blaming ourselves for the bad things, that's sort of stopped the moment we got engaged and Jamie/Lorna hasn't really came on the scene lately so she really has moved on by the look of things, she's been nice to me as of late, at least our problems is not because of her but because of my worries probably but I'm glad that Ashlee is going to my Grandparents tomorrow because I want Dolph to know the truth.
I'm not like the exes that have come and gone in his life, we have been with each other for 3 years straight, I don't think anything would change that now.