Chapter Five: The Pumpkin King

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Imagine this, a young pair of university students kicking back on the couch eating Doritos until they puke and watching 'Hercules in New York'

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Imagine this, a young pair of university students kicking back on the couch eating Doritos until they puke and watching 'Hercules in New York'. Arnold Schwarzenegger's first movie ever by the way. It was terrible. He was terrible. So terrible in fact, that they dubbed him over with some other guy because you could barely understand a single word he was saying. It's true, you should look it up. Anyway, that image was perfect, at least it was for Peter who had been staring at Anabelle Lee for a solid minute or so.

The woman in question furrowed her brow, and Peter was sent into one of his all too common panics. Was he being creepy? Well, he hadn't spoken for exactly 95 seconds which seemed a few seconds too long for a normal, 'not creepy' conversation. He could try and say something now...but then it would sound awkward and forced and Anabelle would probably move away to some secluded island just to ensure that she never endured his awkwardness again.

Suddenly, as if acting in direct response to Peter's pathetic internal prayers, there was a rumbling that seeped through the ground which was accompanied by the sound of a tremendous explosion. Peter, feeling blessed by this act of divine intervention, glanced over his shoulder towards the direction of the commotion.

The young man was then patron to a whirling roller coaster of emotion as his feeling of relief was instantaneously replaced by an eye-widening call to arms; a maniac riding a broomstick trailed through the sky, hurling explosive pumpkins at the street below. The gut-wrenching assumption made by Peter that this was the Green Goblin was also quickly denied when he spied that this guy's head was a flaming pumpkin. The latest climb in Peter's erratic emotional journey was the realisation that this criminal, the Jack O'Lantern, was a complete loser and sucked real bad so he could easily punch his ass into next week and come back in time to stare at Anabelle some more. Not in a weird way. Obviously. Because Peter Parker was not a weird guy, no siree.

His bug-eyed gaze shot back to Anabelle as he declared much too loudly in a stressed tone "UM I HAVE TO GO CATCH MY BUS."

Anabelle instantly blurted "I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. I...I DON'T KNOW WHY I TOLD YOU THAT."

"COOL. SEE YOU LATER."

"BYE."

Peter took off like a proverbial lightning bolt because yes he was fast, but he wasn't Quicksilver fast and still had to maintain the meticulous illusion that he was a loser science nerd with the physical capacities of a six year-old. Once he rounded a corner into an alleyway, he leapt onto the wall and scaled it like...well...a spider. You didn't come here for creativity, you came here for SPIDERS.

Speaking of spiders, it took the blink of an eye for the eternal loser Peter Parker to re-emerge as the Spectacular Spider-Man. This time it's Spectacular. Next time maybe Friendly-Neighbourhood or Amazing. He kept a list of the ones he liked. The wall-crawler leapt off the rooftop and rocketed straight for the path of an incoming pumpkin bomb. Using his trusty trigger fingers and far-too-extensive knowledge of physics, Spidey fired a web line at the explosive device, twirled it once, then let it go off into the sky.

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