To Protect Dragons

18. Pain

My father knocked on the door to my room.

He walked cautiously to the edge of my bed and sat down.

"Kana please eat something," He said holding a bowl of soup, "It's been three days i'm worried about my daughter." I stifled back a sob at the sound of my fathers voice. My stomach churned at the thought of food, I felt the vile rise up in my stomach.

He stroked my hair, which was tangled in knots from the days of laying in my bed. My eyes were sore and puffy from the tears I couldn't hold back.

He paused, "Prince Kazuto is still at the village, he wants to speak with you." He said in almost a whisper. I shot up in my bed.

"He killed her." My voice croaked, "We made a deal he told me-" I broke down in sobs, unable to finish what I was going to say.

"I know my dear I know. But things are more complicated than they seem. It's breaking my heart too see you like this. If your mother was still here-" His voice cracked slightly, the look on my father's face broke my heart even more. I reached for his hand and squeezed it.

"I'll speak to him." I said almost too softly for myself to hear. I was scared what I would do if we were in a room alone together. I hated him, I could kill him. But I know that for the sake of our people I had to be strong, I couldn't let my personal matters interfere with anything that had to do with our country.

He nodded and stood up, but not before squeezing me in a hug. I wished that I could stay in my father's embrace forever, that he would protect me and I wouldn't have to protect myself, and everyone else around me. Because it was clear to me now that I wasn't capable of that.

My poor Amree. How long was she suffering in pain without anyone there? My heart clenched at everything she had done for me, for all the moments she had been there for me, and I couldn't even protect her. It was my fault.

"I'll give you a few minutes before sending him in." He gave me one last squeeze before standing up and lightly shutting the door behind him, like he thought I would break at the sound of any loud noises. Would I?

I stood up, my legs feeling weak from the sudden movements. After a few moments I heard the door creak open. I faced towards the window.

Footsteps near me, then stopped a few feet away. The silence in the room was peaceful to me, I knew who was in here but the silence allowed me to imagine it was someone else in here. For a moment I pictured my mother standing there, reaching out to hold my hand. But I knew who it really was, and I knew what he did.

"I'm investigating who went against my word to cease the hunting of the dragons in my council. They will be fired and punished. Reo and Eun-ji are on their way back to find out"

His voice seemed uncertain, the first time maybe ever I will have caught the mighty prince Kazuto in an unsure state of mind.

"Then why are you still here?" I said, trying to sound as composed as possible. Even to me my voice came out weak and pathetic. I wondered if that was how he saw me.

"Look at me." He said, sounding more like a plead than his usual commands.

"Look at me." He said once more.

"I'm not certain what I will do once I see your voice. Just your voice is making my blood boil."

"Do what you please. I just want to see your face." I turned around and was met with eyes that I had never seen before. They looked concern, something that I had never seen on Kazuto's expression before.

"I swear to you I will find out who disobeyed my orders Kana. I wouldn't have broken a promise like that, especially with you."

I wanted to believe him, but in the back of my mind I wondered if this was his way out, blaming it on his council to find ways to deceive me once again.

I walked towards him with clenched fists. I hit his shoulder in a weak attempt. Again and again I pounded against his chest with my fists, tears clouding my vision. He stood there, not making a move to stop me. I hit and hit until full sobs were released from the back of my throat. I hit him until my hands began to hurt.

My cries sounded foreign to me at this point. I couldn't control them. I stopped hitting him and slid down to my knees crumpled on the ground.

"I couldn't protect her from you." My hoarse voice whispered. He kneeled down next to me with a pained look in his eyes.

"If I could change what happened I would Kana. I swear to you the person who defied me will pay."

He reached out to touch me and I flinched, he quickly pulled away. For some reason I grabbed the sleeve of his shirt before he could fully pull away. I held it with two fingers so tightly, yet so softly at the same time.

He hesitated for a second confused by my actions, but then he held my hand so gently. Treating me the way my father had when he had shut the door behind him.

His hand was warm and enveloped mine. Something about the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes made me believe that he had truly been defined in his council.

He pulled me forward slowly, then wrapped his arms around me pulling me close to him. I closed my eyes, a war in my head going on. I grabbed his shirt and cried some more. I wondered if the tears would ever stop, if the pain I was feeling would ever go away.

At that moment he didn't say anything to me, he just held me in his arms; which may have been exactly what I needed at that moment. I wasn't sure if during this moment I just needed someone to hold me, or if Kazuto was exactly what I needed.