Slowly Breaking (2Jae)

"I'm fine"

Practice ended. You noticed me trying to catch my breath because of exhaustion.
"Is everything okay? Lately you haven't been your usual self", you asked me worried.
My head said 'Nothing is okay! I'm just fricking worthless and I wanna die! Don't you see that I'm in pain? That I self-harm? That I hate myself? That I just wanna give up on life?' but my mouth didn't agree with me head. "I'm fine, I'm just a little tired from Practice", I forced a smile. Lie. You smiled back at me.

"I'm glad, still remember to take a break. You are stressing yourself too much", you said. You're such an Angel. Always worried about others but yourself. I nodded still smiling.

When we got to our dorm, I just rushed into my room. I guess you thought that I went to sleep so you didn't bother me. I opened my drawer and took the blade inside and pressed it against my skin. My blood is slowly dripping from my arm as I looked at it amazed, but I still cried.

Everyone thought I was happy, that I enjoyed life but they're wrong. They can't see the real me that is slowly breaking and can fall every second. I always received lots of love from my fans but lately I get alot of hate. I saw every single comment.
I pressed the blade again against my skin as I read the next comment.

"How can someone be so childish? He acts like he's oh so perfect and handsome when he clearly isn't. He's such an immature untalented, ugly brat. I hope that you'll kill yourself because you aren't needed in Got7!"

I sobbed. They're right. I'm untalented and ugly. I don't deserve to be in Got7. Got6 sounds better. You are the reason I somehow keep going. Because I love you even when I know that you will never love me.

I made five more cuts. One cut is Jinyoung, the other is Yugyeom, the third cut is Mark, the fourth is BamBam, the fifth is Jackson, the sixth is you and the seventh is the insignificant me.