Miss. Matchmaker |✓

Chapter 30

Harper pulled into the driveway and it felt as if my heart had jumped off of a hundred story building. The two-story white siding house had a broken metal fence working it's way around the perimeter of the yard, the shutters were painted a deep red that was chipping around the edges. A single tree stood in the small yard and was visibly leaning towards the sidewalk posing as a threat to any passerbyers. My grip on the cookie platter in my lap had tightened without my knowledge as my mind had wandered off to the memories that lay here. Pushing open the car door I stood on two unstable legs that walked forward without warning, stepping out the wooden stump, Harper pressed the doorbell and the sound was sharp to my ears.

"Coming!" Her voice yelled and then the padding of footsteps followed, they were quick and eager like a child awaiting their father to come home from work. She threw open the door, a wide smile spread across her lips, she looked Harper up and down before offering her arms wide, her coffee brown hair was cut into a layered bob, her bangs were like fringe and fell into her hazel colored eyes, just like Harper, as she met my gaze the smile that left crinkles around her eyes, fell a bit. She recovered, "Rae," She stared at me for a long moment and shook her head, pulling away from Harper to embrace me, and I could feel her skin stretching over bone, but the cookie tray left an awkward space between us. "Come in, come in." She suddenly sounded out of breathe, and pulled her green and red polka-dotted apron up, wringing her hands in it. "Please have a seat." She motioned over to the couch.

"How've you been, mom?" Harper asked, peeling her winter coat away from her as she stomped her snow covered boots on the rug at the entrance yanking those away from her feet.

"Well, better now that my girls are here." She smiled and her hands went to the cookie tray in my hands which I handed over to follow Harper's lead at making myself feel at home, though it was difficult.

"Do you need any help?"

"Oh no, no, don't make a fuss, just settle yourselves into the living room and I'll call when it's done, just like old times." Mid-way through the sentence she had turned and walked the short distance to the kitchen where she could still be heard through the thin, wall-papered walls.

We settled into the couch and while Harper relaxed into the failing cushions, I sat on the edge, my hands clasped together between my knees, the t.v. flickered with color though I paid no attention to it, I instead looked at the walls. They had been flooded with pictures of Harper and I, our father in none of them. That's where her hate stemmed for me, the fact that I resembled him the most, I was a constant reminder of the man who had left her behind. Suddenly I was standing, walking over to the pictures. There was one with harper and I frosting covered us from our chins to our foreheads as we smiled broadly at the camera. Another of us, mocking our Mother's pose as she was squatted in front of her garden, plucking weeds.

"It's ready!" She called, just as she promised, and Harper and I entered the kitchen where the table sat over in the corner just as it had years before. Pulling out a chair I looked to see she had set out a roasted turkey breast, along with lumpy mashed potatoes with a gravy boat and a green-bean casserole; she had placed the bread rolls, Harper brought over, next to some butter.

"Looks good!" Harper rubbed her hands together and I instantly reached for her hand, before pulling it back as I remembered where we were. ""Would you like to say grace?"

I quickly shook my head as she said this and my mother looked over with wide eyes as she spooned some mashed potatoes onto her plate.

"Oh, it's alright if you do." My mom mentioned.

"No it's fine." My voice was harsher than I intended and everyone began to fill their plates, the scraping of metal to plate filled the air.

"That's because her southern gentleman does it." Harper suddenly said after a minute had passed, anger rose in me and I shot a glare n her direction. My mom was chewing her way through a bread roll before her hand fell to the table and she looked at my, a ghost smile on her face. The black rings around her eyes told that she had worried about this day for endless nights, her bony fingers said she had lost everything when she lost my dad.

"RaeLynn!" She started, "that is just wonderful, do you have a picture?" I shook my head, not that I didn't have pictures, but I hadn't wanted to see them. My head fell to stare at my plate, I pushed around the green beans. "Well, that is just a shame, why didn't you invite him?"

"He's in Tennessee with family." I muttered before stabbing the green beans and shoving a couple into my mouth.

"Well, I'll just have to meet this boy one day." She said, her tone was neutral. "And how about you Harper?" My heart returned to a natural pace as the attention was now off of me.

"Oh you know, I'm doing the whole independent woman thing." She replied, sounding unconvincing to even her own ears, I'm sure.

Mom congratulated her regardless, "good for you." She smiled at Harper and Harper shot a similar one back.

We sat in another silence as we finished and Mom collected her pates as Harper moved to wrap up any leftovers, "Now, you girls feel free to take any leftovers home." Mom mentioned from her place at the sink as Harper jumped at the opportunity, grabbing most of anything left, while I only moved to take a few pieces of turkey.

"Thank you mom, this'll serve me as dinner for the next week." Harper expressed her gratitude by placing a swift kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks mom." I said before placing the rest of the plates in the sink and pulling her close for a side-hug.

"No problem, sweetie." She started, "Say, I didn't congratulate you on your win." She suddenly mentions and my eyes nearly fall from their place in my sockets. Shooting a look over to Harper she seems to be in her own world as she packages away her leftovers. "But, I also didn't say how sorry I am you had to be put through that." She continues and I hear the crack in her voice as she says this. "I know I haven't been the best mother to you these past couple of years and you have your father to thank for that."

"You gotta stop blaming him, Ma." I cut her off and she moves her line of vision over to me as her hands stop scrubbing. "Yes he left and yes that was hard on you but you never stopped mothering Harper." My voice is low in fear of enraging her and at this, her small, narrow shoulders sag.

"You're right, I neglected you because it was too difficult." She admits and I feel relief at her words. "I turned my attentions towards Harper because I didn't have to see your father when I saw her. To be fair you were a teenager and like any teenager you had your outburst but in those moments I saw your father and I wanted nothing more that to take your eyes out and replace them with my own, so not only would I not have to see him when  I saw you, I wouldn't have to see him at all." My heart feels as if it's physically breaking as she says this and tears are streaming down her face but she manages to hold her voice strong and steady.

"Mom." I start and my hands reached for her, but she shakes her head and turns her attention back to her dishes.

"I'm so sorry, RaeLynn, but I hated you for a moment in time. And I'm so sorry because no mother should ever feel that way towards her child." At this her voice breaks and she drops the dish in the sink creating a loud clatter. She folds over the sink, her head falling into her hands as the water continues to beat down from the faucet soaking her hairs that have fallen forward into the sink.

"Mom, stop that." I turn the faucet off and pick her up, pulling her into my arms, her words hurt but seeing her in this state hurts more.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie, I love you so much." She wails, her hot tears falling into my collarbone, she feels weightless in my arms and I feel my own tears cascading down. Her chest falls up and down heavily as the sobs are clearly taking their toll on her body. Harper moves to get some water for her to down and we make our way to the living room, watching as her tears slow and her breathing returns.

"Now, I'd say we have some catching up to do." I say placing my hands on my thighs and she laughs hoarsely while her eyes are a brilliant red and she nods in agreement.

"Yes, I'd say so too."