Absolute Reality

Eunice in Wonderland

This is going to be a two-part chapter. Sorry. There's just too much to squeeze in! Playlist: White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane; The Mountain Song - Donovan; Happy Together - The Turtles. 

Sister Mary Eunice (neé Eunice Mckee) was stewing. Literally. It was hot as hell in Briarcliff's library, and that odious funk wasn't helping. It had been inescapable for two days now - an insidious combination of sewage and something sharp like alcohol. Intolerable. She sighed, glancing out the window to the beginnings of her garden below. She wished she could be there, hands dirty in the fresh air and cool soil. Tilling in the spring instead of toiling in these dusty shelves. But...there was work to do, as usual.

"Are you done with those magazines, Pepper?" The Pinhead was humming, mooning again over the same old issue of TIME. Eunice took it gently. "Come on. I'll take you to the common room. I have to meet with Sister Jude and the Monsignor." She dreaded the staff meeting, honestly, but at least she'd be entertained (secretly) by Carl and Frank. They were always funny, even if to Jude's chagrin. In fact, maybe that was the funniest part.

Pepper giggled suddenly, pointing just past Eunice. "What?" Eunice turned just in time to see something white and fluffy wriggle behind a filing cabinet beneath the window. "Pepper! Did you see that?!" She grabbed the pinhead's shoulders excitedly.

"Bunny!" Pepper cried, grinning like a fool.

"You did see it!" The little nun couldn't contain a victorious grin. "I knew it! See? This explains the smell! There are rabbits in Briarcliff! Come on." She ushered Pepper through the door. "I'll tell them at the meeting. I know they'll think I'm crazy, but you saw it too, Pepper!" On the way to the common room, she rationalized. "I mean. You are crazy. So...I don't know if that really qualifies me as being not crazy for seeing the same thing you saw, but..." A frustrated huff. "Well. We believe in crazier things, don't we? Like...invisible omnipotent forces and zombie saviors with the power of forgiveness." A shrug as she settled Pepper at a table. The strains of Dominique serenaded the patients. Everything looked surprisingly peaceful. "Why don't you play a game with Dolly?" Eunice rifled through the stack of board games nearby. Dolly shuffled over, smiling shyly at Pepper.

"Candyland!" Pepper shouted, clapping.

"Alright." Eunice calmly set up the game board. "Candyland it is." She patted Pepper's scratchy head fondly. "Have fun, you two!"

On the Stairway to Heaven - just before the landing - she paused. Peered over the top step. No rabbit. Scowled. "If I catch it, I'll put it in a box. They'll have to believe me if they see it." She wondered if Jude might let her keep it. A bunny. She smiled. Then frowned. Probably not. Her mentor was trying desperately to prepare her for the rigors of running an institution. Not exactly keen on girlish ideas or flights of fancy. That's why Eunice knew the rabbit thing wouldn't go over well in the first place.

Outside the door to the meeting room, she took a deep breath, steeled herself and went inside. It was as bas as she'd thought it would be. Infernal as usual, but today it was hot and stifling to boot. And it stunk to high Heaven. Jude was testy and impatient. Frank was his typical foul-mouthed and argumentative self. Carl made the usual inappropriate jokes. And the Monsignor was newly embittered. Mainly toward Frank. Eunice suspected it had something to do with the fact that Jude and Frank had breakfast together every morning. And that...thing that had happened a few nights ago. With the kissing. But surely the Monsignor couldn't know about that? Only Eunice knew about that. Well. And Frank and Jude. But that's because they'd been the ones kissing.

Or at least it sounded like kissing. Eunice was pretty sure it was kissing. There wasn't enough sloppy sounding slapping for it to have been more than kissing. Briefly, she wondered what kissing felt like...