Easier to Lie

Chapter 13

With Eric gone and Leah not answering, I decided to do something for myself. I was now eighteen and my parents couldn't tell me no. This was my decision. I needed help. I called a cab and got out at the Mental Health Clinic.

The building was old and smelled like pine air freshener. There were a few other people waiting. Mostly kids. At the front desk was an older woman with a pixie haircut and grey hair. The glasses she wore were too big for her small frame. She smiled when I approached her, but I couldn't look away from the piece of broccoli stuck to her front tooth.

"Can I help you, Sweetie?"

"I hope so," anxiety was taking over, my vision was getting blurry. To the best of my ability I explained why I was there. I was a crying mess while she escorted me to a counselor's office.

The walls were pink. Too pink. I would have found it comforting, but it was simply too bright. The desk and chairs were pink, too. In one corner was a pile of plush animals. This room could easily be mistaken for a little girl's play room.

A nervous habit of mine was biting my nails. The counselor picked up on that right away, "No need to be nervous," she assured me.

I remember thinking that her bangs were too short, and it was odd for a professional counselor to have a facial piercing. I was being judgmental as a way of blocking the panic rising in my heart.

"So, let's get to know each other," she said, turning in her swivel chair to look at me. She had a box of tissues in her lap. "My name is Kacee. I'm thirty-five years old, married with two small kids. My daughter is autistic. I love chocolate cherry truffles but not on Valentine's day," she smiled in a motherly way and waited for me to speak.

"Um, I'm eighteen, an only child. I'm here because I'm on vacation before college and because my parents aren't here."

"Why is it important that your parents aren't here?"

"They're great parents, don't get me wrong, but they're very against doctors and medications," I watched her scribble something on a notepad.

"But you're not. So, what's going on? Tell me why you're here."

Where was I supposed to begin? I had been feeling depressed and anxious my entire life. I had already been crying so, I started with my brother's death.

"When I was six, my older brother was killed in a hit-and-run accident. He was only eight years old. My parents refuse to talk about him. They removed his pictures and they keep his bedroom door locked."

Just like in the movies, she asked, "How does that make you feel?"

"Sad, I guess. I mean I was little when he died so, I don't remember much about him."

"You mentioned you're eighteen years old, what was high school like for you?"

Of course, she would want to know about high school, the root of all depression. "It was okay, I guess. I mean I wasn't popular by any means, but my best friend was. I was picked on and teased, but I think that's normal."

"Your best friend, was she bullied, too?"

"Leah? God, no. Everyone loves her. She was constantly asked why she was my friend. She' the only one who ever stood up for me."

Kacee wanted to know what the bullies did to me. I thought I was over all of that mistreatment, but I wasn't. I couldn't tell her everything, though, so, I talked about the big things."

Girls that had been my friends in elementary and middle school turned against me for some unknown reason. Trista was the first to change her attitude towards me. I didn't understand what happened. This was the girl that I spent countless hours with playing Barbie's and Polly Pocket.