Caring Sucks

A True Beginning

I guess this story really began a few months ago in a town in Southern California. Coachella. The city neighboring Indio, where the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival is held. Not really of a big city but is known by people from California. Coachella is a fast-growing rural and agricultural community in the desert with a majority Hispanic population. It's a really nice place if you are looking to settle in a somewhat calm environment, the only downside? It's hot as hell.

I was born and raised here. Not really in the best side of town. My neighborhood was known for being very gang related, it was really rough growing up here. Not being able to play basketball with my friends without having to worry about falling victim to a drive-by. As I grew up, things calmed down and now luckily I'm able to go out without that fear.

I'm part of a family of two. It's only my dad and I. My mother lost her battle with cancer when I was eight. It was hard on me at first, but now everything I do is to honor her beautiful soul. She really was the best mom ever. We had this tradition of spending every Saturday watching movies while eating pizza and chips. Not once did she ever bail on me. My dad is also a great parent. He taught me how to play almost every sport and even made me good at them. Every day after work, he would take me to La Michoacana for ice cream. After my mom passed, everything changed.

My dad had to take the role of being a mother on top of already being a father. A few weeks after we buried my mom, my dad stopped taking me to the park for sports. We rarely went out for ice cream anymore. He was just always too busy. I never really called him out on it because I knew he was going through the same pain I was going through. It wasn't until 2 years after my moms' death that my dad started dating again. I never really supported the idea but I truly believe my mom would like the fact that he took his time and decided to find someone to be happy with.

My dads' girlfriend is named Janet. They've been together for about four years now. She moved into our house after two years of knowing each other, she was a kindergarten teacher but then quit to stay at home to provide for me. I personally believe they rushed the idea. She looks a little like Jessica Alba if you ask me. Well a short budget version of her. I still haven't gotten accustomed to the idea of her living with us. Nothing against her but she will never be my mom. I will never take orders from her because she does not have that right. But I guess it is nice to see my dad happy again.

I personally haven't really found my happiness after the incident. I became a lot more reserved and just stopped going outside with my friends. The rest of my elementary years and middle school was not the best. I was known as the kid that doesn't have a mom. So many people felt pity for what had happened. I hated that because it never allowed me to become at ease with what happened. My only release has come from music and sports.

High school really has been something. Outside of the three friends I have, I never really bothered to get attached to anyone else. I know how it feels to lose very important people in my life and I do not want to take the chance on creating friendships I know I would lose. Speaking of school, tomorrow is my last first day of high school.